Finding My Way Back
by davis-baker
Summary: No matter how hard he tried to trigger her memory, he would always fail and she would always think of herself as Brooke Davis, not Brooke Scott. BL! PLEASE R&R! Chapter 20! Complete!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - Hi, it's me again. I know I shouldn't be making a new story, especially since I haven't updated A Bad Dream in a while, but I really wanted to write this and see where it goes. If you don't like it, just simply tell me that in a review. I know that this storyline has probably been used a lot, but I really wanted to write it. **

**Please, if you read, leave a REVIEW. Thanks in advance!**

**Please Enjoy!**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back 

Chapter 1 -

Her feet kicked around the moist sand. Everything in that moment felt perfect, like there was nothing she needed to worry about in life. When the time came for her to sit back in the driver's seat, the fairytale would have to end. Reality would eventually have to kick back in.

She stared at the never-ending darkness in the sky as she listened to the incoming waves crash along the shore and her feet. She couldn't see a thing around her, like the sky was enveloping her into a dark world.

She was literally fading into the dark. Her life was not the same as it had been nearly a week ago. The worst part was not knowing. Not remembering. And she hated that feeling.

She slipped her shoes back on and started trudging back to the car she had parked a few blocks away from the beach. The doctor's orders were to not drive for at least a month, but she couldn't sit at home anymore. She just couldn't deal with it all and escaping was her only answer. Her only solution.

Once in her car, she stared at herself in the rearview mirror. She trembled a little as her finger traced along a raw piece of skin and a scar. What scared her the most was that she couldn't remember anything about that night. Or the nights -and days- prior to that, either.

She pulled into the driveway of a fairly large house, as she learned a few days ago this was where she had been living for quite some time.

She knew he would be mad. She had been going out of the house late at night every day since the accident and he never approved.

_Lucas Scott. _That was his name. And his was supposedly her husband. She knew that by her not remembering, he was dying inside more and more each day.

She had forgotten her keys again so she had to ring the bell; she only hoped he wasn't sleeping.

Within no time, a tired looking blonde appeared at the door.

"Brooke, thank god you're okay. You can't keep doing this, you heard the doctor."

"I'm sorry." She replied awkwardly, stepping into the house.

The t.v. was on and there was a mug on the coffee table, evidence that he had stayed up to make sure she came back. He always did that. And that showed he cared. _Of course he does, _She would remind herself, _he's your husband, remember? _

Lucas ran a hand through his hair, thinking of the right words to say. "It's fine, it's fine. You're back now so we'll just talk about this in the morning. Or I guess in this case, the afternoon." He added after looking at his watch. 2:37. She had been out of the house for nearly four hours. "Why don't you go to sleep? You must be tired."

"Yeah. Yeah, I am. Goodnight."

"'Night." He mumbled and finished off with a sigh.

No matter how hard he tried to trigger her memory, he always failed and she would always think of herself as Brooke Davis, not Brooke Scott.

"_You okay?" Lucas nudged Brooke as they walked out of the hospital. Nathan and Haley just had their third child and Lucas and Brooke came to visit them. _

"_Yeah, I'm fine. Seeing Nate and Hales have their third child, just, I don't know, makes me want to have a baby, too." __She admitted slightly embarrassed. _

_Lucas stopped abruptly and took her hands in his. "You want to have a baby?" _

_She nodded as he continued. "Why didn't you tell me?" _

"_I don't know. I just figured that since you didn't mention it, you didn't want to have one."_

"_Well, Brooke Scott, I would love to have a baby with you." He leaned in to kiss her on the lips and she giggled but eventually eased into his touch. _

_They both didn't care how extremely cheesy it was that they were having this whole conversation in the parking lot of the Tree Hill Hospital. All that mattered was that he loved her, and she loved him. They were happy. And happiness and each other were all they needed. _

Lucas snapped out of his daze and turned off the t.v. If only things would just go back to that moment right there. Where everything seemed so happy, so simple, so perfect.

He rinsed off the mug of coffee, locked the front and back door, and finally retreated upstairs for some much needed sleep. Before going into the bedroom, though, he slipped through the guest room, first making sure Brooke was asleep. She was, luckily.

He always loved watching her sleep. He could sit there for hours doing so, in fact there was one time he actually did. She had caught a cold and was extremely tired, and he, being the best husband ever, had made sure he took good care of her. And he did, watching her every move, that included her in her sleep state.

Even now, with a line of stitches on her chin and forehead, he still looked at her as if she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

He walked over to her carefully, making sure not to wake her, and kissed her cheek.

"Goodnight, babe." He whispered.

Unfortunately, while she was sleeping was the only time he got to make any physical contact with her. When they had first gotten home from the hospital after the accident, he had wrapped an arm around her and she freaked out and told him to never do that again.

He shook his head sympathetically and walked out of the room.

Once his head hit his pillow, his thoughts were immediately brought back to his wife. Every night while waiting to fall asleep he did the same thing.

He silently wished to himself that the next day when he woke up in the morning, he'd find Brooke curled up in his arms. And she'd remember. She'd remember everything about herself, her life, and him. And then they'd live happily ever after.

Only time would tell.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - Any good? **

**Not sure when the next update will be, because I am loaded with school work and I still need to update A Bad Dream (which I am not giving up on!), but if I get a good amount of reviews there's no reason why I won't update.**

**With that said, LEAVE A REVIEW. **

**PLEASE? Thanks! **

— **Melissa (Your new best friend **_**if **_**you review :p lol.)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - OMG, seriously, I got like the best response ever for chapter 1! I was sooo surprised and thrilled, and soooo glad that you people enjoyed it. I wasn't going to update this so quickly but how could I leave all you people hanging after that? **

**I would like to say thanks to my reviewers: **23TutorGirl23, illeandra, wtlozy, bella, erika x3, sbf, savannah, Brooke6404, othfan326, HSMx3OTH, truelovedoesntexist, Ginevra-Summers, brucasbrathanbaleybrachel, TypoKween, SmileLikeYooMeanIt, B.P.Davis, awhero, Brucas94, brucas333, princetongirl, andAmanda.

**Please enjoy chapter 2 and remember to leave a review!**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back

Chapter 2 -

She looked so peaceful while she slept. Because while she was sleeping, there was nothing she had to worry about. She didn't have to worry that she'd never gain her memory back, or that she'd never be as happy as she once was.

Lucas sighed as he gently shook her body, attempting to wake his wife up.

At least one thing hadn't changed— she's definitely still a heavy sleeper —.

"Brooke, wake up. Rise and shine." Finally, her eyes fluttered opened and for a second she looked shocked and scared, a bit disheveled. It was then she realized where she was and that everything was okay.

"Hi." She replied with a yawn as Lucas slowly moved away from her touch. He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable in any way.

"Hey, sorry to wake you. I just got to get to work."

"Work?"

"Yeah. I'm starting back up again...if that's okay. But if you don't want me to leave you..."

"Lucas, I'll be fine. You should go."

"Okay. And I called Haley and Peyton and they're gonna come over later to keep you company since I'll have to be staying late at the office to make up for missed time."

"Haley? Peyton?" Brooke tried her best to remember who those two names belonged to. God, she wanted so badly to remember. But she just couldn't.

It killed Lucas to see her look so sad, so lost. "Yeah." He said easily. "The two girls who came to visit you at the hospital. You remember...Peyton is the one with the curly blonde hair..."

"Right...Peyton and Haley."

"So they're going to come over at around four and stay with you until I get home later tonight."

"Lucas, it's fine, really. I can entertain myself for a day."

"The doctor said you should always have someone looking out for you, incase you need something. It's bad enough you'll be all alone the first half of the day."

"The doctor also said that I shouldn't drive. Haven't gotten into a car accident yet, have I?"

"Brooke, please."

She sighed before answering. "Fine."

"Thank you." He replied satisfied. "And please, don't leave the house. At least wait 'til the girls come over and then you guys can go somewhere together. And let _them _drive if you do decide to go somewhere. Okay?"

Brooke nodded and before she knew it, Lucas had left for work and she was left in an enormous house all by herself.

She wandered into the kitchen and towards the refrigerator. After getting out milk, a bowl, and cereal, she sat at the table in the kitchen.

She looked around the area and she came to a conclusion that their house had become a complete mess. When she first came home from the hospital the week prior, the house was nearly spotless, not an ounce of dirt to be found. Now the floors needed to be mopped, surfaces needed to be dusted, and not to mention the stacks of paper found in every corner needed to be thrown in the garbage.

She pushed her bowl of cereal to the side as she examined a pile of papers.

On top there were drawings, sketches to be precise. They were of all different kinds of clothing. Formal wear to swim wear. Lucas had once told her she was a fashion designer and these must have been her latest sketches.

Next there were some Christmas cards from a few months ago. There was one that had a picture on it and read _'Happy Holidays, from the Scott family.' _There was a dark-haired man, whom she remembered from the hospital to be Nathan, Haley's husband, Haley was next in the photo. Then there were three kids. One looked about twelve, another was six or seven, and then the last one in the picture looked no more than a year-old. She remembers meeting them at the hospital, too. But she can't remember their names.

The next thing takes her by surprise. She almost chokes on the Cheerios she was still chewing.

It's a black and white image. A picture of a sonogram.

Had she been pregnant?

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"_Oh my god, Hales. He's just so adorably cute." Brooke said, bouncing her newest nephew in her arms. _

"_Aunt Brooke, I was cute, too. Right?" A tiny girl with her hair in a braid asked, tugging on Brooke's shirt. _

"_Of course you were, Ave. You still are. And so is your older brother, too."_

"_Ew." Avery scrunched up her nose. "Jamie is not cute. He never was and never will be!" She scoffed, then turned to her mother. "Mommy, can I hold Ryan?" _

"_Not right now, sweetie. You need to go wash up for dinner. And tell James to do that, too." _

"_But mommy, you're not fair." Avery pouted and then turned around and trudged up the stairs. _

"_She's such a drama queen, that one." _

"_I know. She's hanging out with you too much." Haley joked. _

"_Hey, that's not fair. It's not my fault she loves me." _

"_Yeah. All my kids do. You spoil them too much. You should have your own baby and spoil yours."_

"_Actually..." Brooke started and Haley looked up from the oven._

"_Oh my god, you're pregnant?" _

"_No, not yet. But I think Luke and I are gonna start trying. I mean we both talked about it and I think we're ready." _

"_Aw, Brooke, I'm so happy for you." _

"_Me too."Brooke replied happily as Haley hugged her. _

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

It was now three-fifty in the afternoon and Haley and Peyton were supposedly going to be coming over soon.

She had spent the whole day in front of the t.v. despite the fact nothing good was on.

She'd promised Lucas that she wouldn't leave the house, and she'd stick to that promise. He'd been through enough these past few days.

What she couldn't get out of her mind was that picture she had found early in the morning. Since her memory loss, Lucas had filled her in on the basics of everything, none of which included a baby, let alone a pregnancy. She couldn't have been pregnant, right?

Causing her to jump a bit, the doorbell rang and she could hear a muffled voice from outside the door call out to her.

"Brooke, it's me and Haley." Peyton, she assumed, said.

"Coming." She turned off the t.v., placed the remote on the coffee table, and then walked towards the door.

"This is going to be fun." She muttered to herself, then put on her best fake smile and opened the door.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"No, Nathan. Well tell Jamie and Avery to stop. Okay...How's Ry? Okay, well I gotta go. Okay, love you. Bye." Haley sighed, closing her phone. "Sorry about that. Nathan's going a little crazy back at home."

"Well if you need to go, I can stay with Brooke." Peyton offered, but Haley shook her head.

"No, no. Trust me. I need to get away from home for a little bit."

"Okay. Brooke, are you okay?"

"Huh...Yeah. I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Does anything hurt? Should we call Lucas?" She was bombarded with questions.

"No.." She mumbled as her mind was brought back to what she had been thinking about all day. Should she ask Haley and Peyton?

"Okay. Well just tell us if you want anything."

"Was I pregnant?"

Haley's eyes widened and Peyton gasped.

"Hales, we ordered the food a while ago. You think we should go pick it up?" Peyton said quickly, switching the subject.

"Uhh, yeah. C'mon, Brooke."

"No, it's fine. You guys can go. I'm sort of tired, so I think I'll take a nap."

"Are you sure? We don't want to leave you alone."

"It's fine, I can take care of myself."

"Okay, but we'll be back real soon. And you have our numbers on your phone, right?"

"Yeah."

Once the two girls left, Brooke started to cry. With Haley and Peyton's reactions, she had to of been pregnant, she just had to of. But why wouldn'y Lucas tell her?

She tied her hair back in a bun, dug through her purse for her car keys, and left her house.

She knew she was breaking a promise to Lucas, but somehow she just didn't care. Not now anyway.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"What do you mean she's not there?"

"Well she didn't want to come pick up dinner with us and she said she was going to take a nap." Peyton said quickly into the phone.

"Unbelievable." Lucas gritted through his teeth. "Is her car gone, too?"

"Yeah."

"Great, just great. Look, I think I know where she is. I'll just go there. Thanks for your help."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

She was sitting at the spot where the ocean water meets the sandy shore. The air was crisp and felt just right.

"Brooke." She heard her voice being called in the distance. "Brooke." It was repeated. She could recognize the voice. It was Lucas's. They obviously must've figured out she left by now.

She heard the sound of feet padding along in the sand get closer, and when she turned around, he was only a few feet away from her.

And yet somehow, it felt like miles. He would try to reach out and grasp for her to come back to her old life, but she couldn't. No matter how hard she would try. Try to regain any recollection. But nothing would work. And it felt like nothing would work.

He could see through the darkness that she was crying. He could hear her to. He proceeded closer to her and soon enough, he was sitting beside her, picking up handfuls of sand, releasing it, picking it up, and so on.

"Hi." She played it off as though she were fine.

"You told me you weren't gonna do this any more."

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, completely ignoring his previous statement.

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell me that I was pregnant. That I lost my baby."

He sighed and stared up at the stars. Perhaps he was looking for an answer. Perhaps he was looking to waste time.

"You didn't lose the baby, Brooke..."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - Okay, so here's the deal. I know exactly what I want to do for the next chapter so if the response for Chapter 2 is as great as Chapter 1 was, you can expect an update within the next few days. So it's up to you. Do you want to find out what's next...? I think you do considering how I left this one off. (Hehe, I'm so evil. Lol.)**

**Thanks again for the reviews for the first chapter!**

— **Melissa **

_**(I'm still working on "A Bad Dream"!!! I'm sorry for the delay of that!)**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N - Seriously, you guys blow me away. I can't seem to thank you enough. As you can see, I am updating this story pretty quickly. And if I keep getting responses like that, you can expect the quick updates. **

**Thanks: **B.P.Davis, bella, Brucasss, princetongirl, wtlozy, Brucas94, brucasbrathanbaleybrachel, Ginevra-Summers, savannah, loonygirl22, CheerandBrood323, Liz, illeandra, Brooke6404, Amanda, bibleboymary4ever, Rachel, 23TutorGirl23, SmileLikeYooMeanIt, Brucas2006, awhero, lanenapr252005, and HSMx3OTH**! I loved all your reviews. **

**To **_**awhero**_**, I'm sorry this chapter wasn't much longer but I just really wanted to end it where I did. I will try my best to make chapter 4 longer. I hope you continue to enjoy and review!**

**ALSO: This chapter is dedicated to **_**Brucasss**_ **because her birthday was yesterday! Happy B-Day! I'm sorry I couldn't UD yesterday I was just really busy! I went into the city to meet Sophia Bush. (If you and any other readers want to read my full story about yesterday, read the bottom A/N) I hope you had an awesome birthday and consider this my belated present to you, though it may not be so good. **

**Please enjoy and review chapter 3! Thanks!!!! **

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back 

Chapter 3 -

"You didn't lose the baby, Brooke..." It pained Lucas to say those few words because he knew they would crush Brooke. Brooke would feel hurt, betrayed even, that he didn't tell her she was even pregnant.

"What? So I'm...I'm still pregnant?" She asked, slightly confused, placing a hand on her flat stomach.

"No—."

"What do you mean no?" And she was even more confused. Had he not just told her that she didn't lose the baby?

"You had the baby, Brooke. After the accident, the doctors had to perform a c-section as quick as possible. It was the only way she would survive."

"She?"

He nodded. "You had a girl, Brooke. We had a girl, a baby girl."

"What? No. No, that's impossible. I had a baby?" Why can't she remember? She needs to remember! At least remember something, anything.

"She's in the ICU. She was premature and they're still trying to check if the accident caused any damage. She's very weak and has breathing problems."

A chill ran across Brooke's spine as goose-bumps appeared and she watched as her husband's eyes watered. But only one thing crossed her mind, why hadn't he told her?

She was slightly taken aback when she felt Lucas's firm hand touch her shoulder.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Brooke..."

"No. No, get away from me. You didn't tell me that I was pregnant. You didn't tell me that I have a daughter, for god sake! When did you plan on telling me this?"

"Look, the doctors and I both thought it would be best to hold it off until you got your memory back. We didn't want you to have to worry about this, too. We didn't want you to get freaked out even more."

"And you think me finding out this way is better? Lucas, what if I never get my memory back?"

_God, he really hated himself right now. If it weren't for him, he wouldn't be in this situation right now. His wife wouldn't be in this situation. His baby, too. His daughter, to be more specific. Brooke had been so happy finding out that they were going to have a girl. It would be a perfect little girl that they'd spoil to death. She'd get everything she'd want. And she'd have Brooke's eyes —her eyes that would look a brown-ish color at one point, but then look green at another—. And her dimples, too. Yeah, Lucas loved her dimples. _

_Lucas didn't want to cry, he really didn't. He wanted to be as optimistic as possible about all of this, though it was very hard. Being pessimistic would probably be much easier. But he had to stay strong for both his wife and unborn daughter. _

_Why did they have to have another fight? And why did it have to happen today, when there was a thunderstorm and the streets were all slippery from the rain? _

_The fight was stupid, like they always were. But it obviously wasn't stupid to Brooke, who seemed to have had it with Lucas. He hit her last nerve. _

_It was about him and work again. He'd been coming home during late hours in the night and Brooke tried telling him she needed him there with her. And once the baby was born, it would definitely have to stop. But he never listened. The stubborn person he was never wanted to listen. He would always say how he was providing his family with money, though Brooke knew they had more than enough to last a lifetime. His books had been hits since the day they hit bookshelves, money definitely was no problem. _

"_Mr. Scott?" Lucas looked up from the floor and saw the doctor that had worked on his wife. "Please follow me." _

_Lucas immediately took this as a bad sign. If the news the doctor had was good, he wouldn't need to take Lucas into a secluded area, which is just what he did. _

"_Is she okay?" He asked almost immediately. _

"_Mr. Scott, please—."_

"_Just answer the damn question!" _

"_Your wife was severely injured from the impact of the crash. We were able to get her stable however she has suffered a head concussion. Right now, she's unconscious—."_

"_But when she wakes_ _up she'll be okay. Right?" _

"_Mr. Scott, Brooke may have suffered memory loss—." _

"_Oh, no. No, why?" Tears rimmed his blue eyes. What was the doctor trying to say? His wife wouldn't remember anything? She wouldn't remember him? She wouldn't remember anything about their baby? _

"_She may be fine though, we have to wait until she wakes up. However, your wife is pregnant and she shows signs of internal bleeding. If we want any chance to keep this baby alive, we will have to do an emergency c-section."_

"_But she'll be too small. It's too early." _

"_Mr. Scott, I work with a very strong team, we will do everything we can to help your baby and your wife. I just have to have your consent on the operation." _

"_Are there any risks for Brooke?" He knew that if Brooke had a say, she wouldn't care about the risks regarding her, she'd want to have her baby no matter what. But Lucas was torn between two choices. He wanted Brooke to be okay in the end, he needed her to be. _

"_There are always risks. But I can assure you that I have performed several operations like this. If you want this baby to have any chance at living, I'd suggest the c-section right away." _

_Lucas pondered his decision for a minute. "Okay, I want you to perform the surgery." _

"_Very well. We'll be keeping you updated." _

_Lucas sighed defeated as he turned his back on the doctor and walked back into the waiting room. He really hated that room. That pale room that seemed to always be quiet with the exception of crying coming from family members and friends waiting on the news of their loved one._

_He buried his face in his hands and cried. Really cried. Because his life was falling apart before his eyes. _

_It was hours later that the doctor came and woke him up. The operation had been a success however his daughter was very weak and had breathing problems. She was now in the ICU where she had a breathing tube and a feeding tube. _

_Brooke, on the other hand, was in the recovery center, still unconscious. _

_It seemed like waiting was the only option. _

"Lucas, what if I never get my memory back?"

"Don't say that. Don't ever say that!" He didn't mean to snap at her, he really didn't. But the question she asked, he was afraid of too. What if she didn't get her memory back? Was this how he'd live the rest of his life? Things would never go back to normal if that was the case.

He looked over to her and she looked so scared and vulnerable and fragile. And he couldn't help but feel at blame.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell like that it's just..." He trailed off trying to think of the right way to put it. Was there a right way, though? He doesn't know how to put his emotions to words. No words put together would be able to describe how he feels.

"I know. I understand." She advanced towards him and for the first time since the accident, she wrapped her arms around his body and cried into his chest.

He was a bit surprised at first but then he hugged her back. "It's okay, Brooke. It'll be okay. We'll get through this together."

"Can you tell me about the accident?" She mumbled into his shirt, but he heard. He would always hear her voice, that raspy voice that always made him go weak in the knees.

He took her hand and they both sat down.

Her mascara had run down her face, and the wind was blowing through her hair making it a crazy mess. But to him, she still looked as beautiful as ever. He used his thumb to wipe away the tears that fell from her beautiful eyes. And then he told her. Told her everything she needed and wanted to know. No matter how hard it was, recalling the events of that night, if it would help Brooke get back to her normal self, he'd do it. He'd always do anything and everything for her.

And it seemed like waiting would be the only option.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - Any good? I hope...**

**Okay so yesterday I woke up at like 5:30 in the morning and was able to get to Macy's at like 7:30-ish. The line wasn't too long when I got there, so that was a good thing. But we had to wait online OUTSIDE until the store opened which was at 10. It was FREEZING, I'm surprised I didn't get sick. Anyways, when the doors opened everyone ran inside. I ran up the escalators to the fourth floor where it was all going to be. The line started getting REALLY long, so I was lucky I wasn't too far from the front. I didn't make my casting call video there because the line for that was way too long and it wasn't moving! I'll submit it online. Anyways, then we all had to wait online until 2 when Sophia and Daphne finally arrived. But the autographs didn't start until like 2:30 because she was doing interviews. When I got up there at like 3 I was so, so, so scared! But Sophia was totally nice. She's really gorgeous in person, too. **

**Like two years ago I had met James and Bethany, and I have to say, Sophia is definitely my fave outta the three. It was much more personal when I met her than the other two.**

**Anyways, I left that area for a bit after I got my autograph and took pics (it sucked that you couldn't get a picture with her, but that's okay). Then at around 4:30 I came back just in time because she was leaving soon. I picked a spot which was perfect and she was like leaving right in front of us. But I felt bad because when she was leaving, a swarm of people all the sudden chased after her and she looked TERRIFIED. Anyways, that's what happened. Anyone else meet her or someone else? Please, share!**

**Sorry for the long A/N but I thought I'd share my experience. **

**PLEASE REVIEW, (remember, same great response as last time equals a very speedy update!),**

**Melissa **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N - Again, you guys are amazing with the reviews. Thank you, thank you, thank you!**

**Thanks: **Brucas94, brucas224, CheerandBrood323, wtlozy, HSMx3OTHSmileLikeYooMeanIt, Brooke6404, othfan326, hiddenxtalent, DisneyGirl829, iluvmedou, Brook-Lucas-Fan-23, missdenmark, BDavis427, Brucasss, brucas333, BrOoKe DaViS23, dolcegrazia, erika x3, awhero, **and**, Brucas2006 **! Seriously, I cannot thank you guys enough. I hope you continue to read, enjoy, and review this story! **

**Okay, I don't think this chapter is so great, but I really wanted to get something out. So let me know how it was. Thanks a bunch! And remember, the more reviews the faster a new chapter. And I left this one on a cliffhanger, just to warn you. Lol. :)**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back 

Chapter 4 -

_She was sitting on the sofa by the fireplace sketching a new design of hers. It was 11:30 P.M. and Lucas should have been home by now. She glanced out the window once again. Rain. That was all she saw. It didn't look like it'd be stopping anytime soon, either. _

_Catching her attention, the front door opened and she was greeted with a harsh breeze of cold air._

"_Brooke, you're up late." Lucas acted surprised as he ran a hand through his wet hair. _

"_Well did you think I'd go to sleep worried sick like I was? Where were you?" She asked, standing up from her seat, rubbing her swollen stomach. He didn't have to answer, though. She knew where he was. He was there late every day for the past few weeks. _

"_You know the crazy deadlines they give me. They're expecting my new book to be out on stands by next Thursday. They need me there to make the final revisions."_

"_No, they don't need you; I need you. Your unborn daughter needs you." _

"_Look, Brooke. I'm just trying to bring in some extra money. You know that."_

"_Oh, you have got to be kidding me. Extra money? Look around, Luke. We don't need any extra money. I'm still getting money from my company even though I've been taking time off. Your three other books are still selling. You would think with all the time in that office of yours, you would come up with a better excuse to tell your wife. I mean you've been practically living in that place. With that Lindsey girl, or whatever." _

"_Oh, come on, that's not fair. She's my editor!"_

"_And I'm your wife! Look, Lucas, I don't know how much more of this I can take. I don't know what other way to put this besides the fact that I need you home with me. What if I went into labor?"_

"_You're not due for another two months, Brooke." _

"_God, Luke, it doesn't matter. Things happen!" _

"_Brooke, you're overreacting."_

"_I'm overreacting? Excuse me?"_

"_Look, you should calm down. Okay? The stress isn't good for you." _

"_Well too late, I'm already stressed." She added, grabbing her coat. _

"_Where are you going? You can't go out. It's crazy out there. There's a storm going on, Brooke." _

"_Goodbye, Lucas." She mumbled, making sure the door slammed on her way out. _

_What the hell just happened? _

"Ah, Mr. Scott, just the person I was looking to see. Please, follow me." Lucas snapped out of his trance and followed the doctor through the long hallway. That hallway that had become oh-so familiar with him for nearly two weeks. "How's Brooke doing?"

"Uh, better, I guess. She's trying, you know. It's just hard." Once the words fell off Lucas's lips, he was brought back to that night a few days ago where Brooke finally opened up to him.

"_I'm sorry about the way I've been acting. It's just...I'm trying so hard, Lucas. I'm trying to remember. Remember anything, even if it is the tiniest thing. It's so hard not being able to remember anything, or anyone for that matter. And I don't know who I can trust, and who I can't. I'm really sorry because I know that this whole thing hasn't been easy on you either, by any means." _

"_It's okay, Brooke. You can trust me, I promise." _

"Has she remembered anything yet?"

Lucas sadly shook his head and decided to move on to a different topic. "How's Emma?"

Emma Brooke Scott, the daughter of Lucas and Brooke. Emma was Brooke's choice of name and Lucas agreed that it would definitely fit their daughter. The middle name was left up to Lucas to decide and it wasn't until she was born that he decided Brooke would be a perfect finish to the name.

"Actually, Lucas, that's why I called you in here."

"Is she okay? She's fine, right?"

"Please, sit down."

"Just tell me!" He yelled, exasperated. He was so sick of people not giving him straight answers, and it was now more than ever that he needed one. "Please." He offered, more kindly.

"Lucas, now before I say anything, I need you to calm down."

"What is it? What's wrong with her?"

"Your daughter is very weak. She has been since she was born a week and a half ago, which we've all already known. We're trying everything we can. I just don't know how much longer her weak body can take."

"No. There has to be something you can do. You can't just give up! I practically lost my wife, she doesn't remember anything! I can't lose my daughter."

"We're not giving up, okay? We're trying our very best. I can assure that if there is something we can do to help Emma, we'll do it." Interrupting the crucial conversation between the two, the doctor's pager rang. "I'm sorry, I've got to get to my next patient."

"Please, if anything happens, can you call me?"

"Of course. Take care, now."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Haley, no, please."

"Luke." Haley sighed into the phone. "It's your birthday, we can't not celebrate it. We'll keep it small. It'll be just me, Nate, the kids, you, Brooke, and Peyton. I promise we won't make a big deal out of it or anything."

"Hales, as much as I appreciate what you're trying to do, now's just not really a good time to celebrate my birthday. Too much is going on."

"Jamie, stop teasing your sister!...Sorry about that, Lucas. It's a bit hectic in my house at the moment. Anyway, listen. We'll come by at around one tomorrow. 'Kay?"

"No, Haley, c'mon—."

"Great. We'll see you then. Got to go."

Lucas shook his head as he was greeted with the dial tone. Haley would never give up on it, would she?

"Hey." He looked up from his desk to find Brooke standing by the doorway.

"Hey, Brooke. What's up?"

"So, it's your birthday tomorrow?"

"Yeah. But it's fine, we don't need to celebrate or anything."

"No, I think we should."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean, there's no reason we shouldn't."

"Well that's actually good considering Haley, Nathan, and the kids were going to stop by tomorrow anyway."

Brooke gave the slightest smile. "She's always like that, isn't she?"

"Yeah, that's Haley for you. She's a great person, you should spend more time with her. Before the accident, you two—." Before he continued, Brooke's face fell and he stopped mid-sentence. "Sorry, I shouldn't have..."

"No, no, it's fine. You're right. If I ever want things to return to normal I have to start doing things like I used to."

Lucas nodded and it was then he realized that she was still standing by the doorway, quite a few feet away from him.

"You know you can come in. Take a seat." He motioned towards the chair next to him.

"Okay..." She replied awkwardly as she walked over and slipped into the seat beside him. "So, um, you went to the hospital today?"

"Yeah." And that was all Lucas said, just one word, just one syllable. He didn't need to go into details and make Brooke feel worse about everything. And it was pretty obvious, or at least it seemed that way to Lucas, that if their daughter was fine, she'd be at home with the two, not in the ICU at the hospital. He noticed Brooke nodded hesitantly and continued. "She's going to be fine, Brooke. We're all going to be fine. Eventually. It just takes time." He grabbed her hand in his hand. He really wanted his words to be true, and hopefully, if he believed in them enough, and Brooke, too, they would ring true. _Eventually_, as he had said.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"No, mommy, I don't wanna go!" Young Avery wailed as Haley ran after her.

"Avery, stop it! You have to go to Uncle Luke and Aunt Brooke's house. It's your Uncle Lucas's birthday."

"But Aunt Brooke is scary."

"What?" Haley's face fell as she finally got a hold of her energetic six-year-old. "Why would you say that?"

"'Cause. When we went to see her at the hospital, she didn't want to talk to me. She's mean."

"Aw, honey, she's not mean." Haley didn't know what to say next. She didn't want to tell her precious, innocent, young daughter about what happened. That would make her even more scared. "You know your Aunt Brooke, you love her. Last time you saw her, she just wasn't feeling herself."

"What do you mean?" The tiny girl asked, suddenly acting all cooperative for Haley.

"Well, her mind, it just went on a little vacation. You know, we all have those days."

"Oh. I understand...I think."

"Good. Now we have to go, though. Daddy, Jamie, and Ryan are already in the car. Ready to go sing happy birthday to your uncle?"

"Yeah! But mommy?"

"Yes?"

"I'm just wondering...how many candles is Uncle Luke gonna have on his cake..."

"Oh, a whole bunch. Your Uncle Luke is really old. But don't tell him I said so."

"Okay." The girl giggled, grabbing Haley's hand. "I won't."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Uncle Lucas!" Avery plunged herself at her uncle.

"Hey, it's Avery, my favorite niece."

"Your only niece." Avery said in an all-knowing tone. "By the way, mommy says you're really old. How old are you, Uncle Luke?"

"Avery!" Haley chastised but couldn't help the smile that was on her face.

"Nice, Hales. It's always great to know what your best friend thinks of you." Lucas said jokingly, then moved on to his older nephew. "J. Luke, how's it going?" He asked, wrapping James into a hug.

"Good. Guess what? I made the junior basketball team at school."

"Now that's what I like to hear. Taking after your dad, now are we?" James smiled and nodded. "Speaking of which. Where is Nate, Hales?"

"Oh, parking the car." Haley replied trying to calm down the now screaming baby in her arms.

"And there's the person I've been looking for. He's gotten so big." Lucas remarked, grabbing Ryan out of Haley's arms.

"Tell me about it. So, um, where's Brooke?"

"She's just getting changed. Earlier she took a walk to get some fresh air so she just wanted to clean up."

"Is she doing any better?"

Before Lucas could respond, Brooke appeared at the top of the staircase.

"Aunt Brooke!" Avery ran up to Brooke and gave her a hug.

"Hey, Avery." Brooke replied easily. She didn't want the little girl to know that she couldn't remember a thing about her, or who she was.

"Is your mind back from vacation yet?"

"Avery." Haley said, shocked that her daughter would actually be so rude. "Brooke, I'm so sorry. Avery, say you're sorry to your aunt."

"But mommy, that's why you said she was so scary last time."

James shook his head and stifled a laugh. Sometimes his little sister could be so stupid.

"James, don't encourage your sister."

"I wasn't..."

"Haley, it's fine, really." Brooke tried breaking the silence.

"No, it's actually really not. I don't know what's gotten into her, she knows better." Haley glared at her daughter who looked confused. Her mother had said those same words she repeated. What was the problem?

"Hales, it's fine. She's just a little kid." It was now Lucas's turn to speak up.

"Um, can I be excused, please?" Brooke quickly mumbled and ran up the stairs.

"What happened?" Nathan asked, dumbfounded, once walking through the front door.

"I'll be right back." Lucas excused himself before going up the winding staircase.

"Brooke?" He knocked on the door before entering. He didn't hear a reply, but decided to walk in anyway. "Brooke, you don't have to cry."

"You heard her. I'm different now."

"She's just a little kid, Brooke. She doesn't know what happened."

"Yeah, but I _scare_ her. She used to love me, according to you anyway."

"And she still does. Haley probably just didn't want to explain in detail what happened. She's only six, you shouldn't let it get to you. Okay? Now please, don't cry. It's my birthday and we have family here, let's just try and enjoy, alright?"

Brooke nodded slowly as Lucas wiped some of her tears away.

Interrupting the silence in the room, the phone rang. "Okay. Good. Now let me just answer that and then we'll head back downstairs."

"Hello?" He picked up the phone. "Yes, that's me...Okay, well can you tell me what's wrong?...Okay. Fine, alright. We'll be there. Thank you."

"Who was that?" Brooke asked scared upon seeing Lucas's now emotionless face.

"That was the hospital..."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - Oh, no! Is baby Emma okay? The only way you'll find out is if you click that thing on the bottom that says "Submit Review". Hehe, I'm so evil, aren't I? **

**Let me know how this chapter was...Please? Thanks in advance!**

–**Melissa **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N - I am seriously shocked at how many reviews I am getting. I want you to know that each and every review I get means so, so, much! BTW, I started replying to my reviews so I hope everyone got their reply.****Obviously, anonymous reviews I had no way of replying to because you don't have an account, but I want to thank you guys as well!**

**Thanks: **mk, dolcegrazia, brucas333, XxBRUCAS4LiiFExX, BDavis427, othfan326, Liz, Brooke6404, B.Davis, HSMx3OTH, BrookeScott134, Brucasss, princetongirl, hiddenxtalent, SmileLikeYooMeanIt, chebelle, myla84, MissUnderstood92, BrOoKe DaViS23, Amanda, CheerandBrood323, onetreehillgirl066, erika x3, brucas224, awhero, Brucas94, **and **iluvmedou

**Last chapter recieved the most reviews I have ever, ever gotten on any story! So thanks so much you guys!!!**

**Please, enjoy and review chapter 5!**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back

Chapter 5 -

"_Look at this place!" She threw her arms out in exaggeration. "There's pieces of the crib here. Buckets of paint there. You said you were going to finish this place."_

"_And I will." His eyes scanned the nursery. It really was a mess; She was right. Of course he would never, ever admit that, though. "Soon." _

"_Soon?" She asked incredulously. "Luke, time isn't going to stop for you to get this goddamn room done."_

"_Brooke, calm down. We have, like, two months left." _

"_Yeah, well, at this rate you won't even be done in two months."_

"_Look, I gotta get to work."_

"_Yeah, you should go. Lindsey needs you." She scoffed._

"_You know, I'm not even going to acknowledge that you said that."_

"_Ugh, whatever." She said, plopping down into the rocking chair. "Just go, duty calls." _

"_We'll talk later, okay?" He quickly kissed her cheek "Bye." He mumbled and then left the room._

_Brooke sighed and rolled her eyes once she heard the door downstairs slam. That's all they had been doing lately; fighting. And to be honest it was about stupid things, too. He was spending way too much time at work and way too little time at home with Brooke. _

_Time definitely wasn't going to stop._

"She's beautiful." Brooke said in awe, her eyes taking in every inch of her daughter; _Their_ daughter. She was very tiny, was in an incubator, and had wires surrounding her, but she was their daughter and nothing besides that at the moment mattered.

"Yeah, she is. Just like her mother." Lucas replied, draping an arm over her shoulders. At first, he wasn't sure if his words and actions would be too risky. Was it too soon to make a remark like that? But he was surprised when she gave him a small smile as they continued to admire their baby. Their daughter, who would be okay after all.

_He sighed, his face buried in his hands. This was not the way his birthday was supposed to be. This was supposed to be a birthday of celebration, a birthday of new beginnings. Brooke was supposed to be still pregnant and she was supposed to have her memory, too. The couple would be in a state of euphoria. They were supposed to be looking forward to the start of their new family. _

_Instead, they were stuck sitting in the waiting room Lucas despised so much. And they were waiting. Just waiting to hear any news. And if the news the doctor beared would be bad, this would definitely have to qualify for the worst birthday in history. _

"_Guys, we shouldn't jump to conclusions. She could be fine, really." Haley said trying to lighten the mood. She looked over to Nathan who nodded in agreement. Avery had fallen asleep in his lap, Ryan had fallen asleep in her arms, and Jamie was sitting next to her playing on his PSP, unaware of exact details on what was happening. _

"_Lucas, Brooke, hi." The doctor appeared. "And I see we have some company?" _

"_This is my brother, his wife, and their kids. What's going on, doc?" _

"_Well, it truly is my pleasure to say that since the last time I spoke to you, little Emma has shown extraordinary progress. She still isn't quite there yet, however she definitely has improved since she was born."_

"_That's why you called us in?" Lucas asked. It didn't seem right. So their daughter would be okay? After being in hell for nearly the past two weeks, would things really start to be getting better? No catch, no nothing?_

"_Yeah. I'm sorry if I scared you all, it's just hospital policy. You're really not supposed to give any news over the phone." _

_Lucas sighed in relief, grabbing Brooke's hand. To his surprise, she gave him a small smile._

"_Can we go see her?"_

"_Of course. I'll bring you to the neonatal ICU." _

"You okay?" Lucas asked after there were quite a few minutes of silence.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just...I don't get how I can't remember any of this. How can I not remember such an important moment in my life? My pregnancy. I'm supposed to be able to remember this. It's supposed to be, like, the greatest feeling in the world. Becoming a mother." She frowned as she finished her sentence. Coming to the hospital and seeing her daughter was supposed to make her remember. And yet, as she stared at Emma through the glass, nothing came to her. Not even a tiny spark in her mind.

"_Brooke, stop pacing around." Lucas laughed at his wife's crazy antics. "It won't make the three minutes go by any quicker." _

"_I know. I just hate waiting, I'm a very impatient person." She pouted as she crossed her arms over her chest. _

"_So I've heard." He smirked. _

"_Ugh, shut up." She rolled her eyes and then took a seat on his lap. "So, are we really ready for this?" _

"_Don't you think it's a little too late to be asking that kind of question?"_

"_Well, I know we're ready. But, like, I'm going to be a mother...depending on what the test says, I mean."_

"_You're gonna make a great mother, Brooke." _

"_Really?" _

"_Of course. What about me, though? How am I going to do?" _

"_You? Hmmm. I think you're gonna make a horrible father." She joked. _

"_Oh, well in that case, I take back what I just said." _

"_But you already said it, so that's not fair. But, no, in all seriousness, I think you'll be the best dad ever. I mean it, Luke. I mean, you were great with your sister when she was little, you're great with your James, Avery, and Ryan..."_

"_Well, you know what I think?"_

"_What?" _

"_I think, we're both going to make wonderful parents." He said and finished it off with a kiss on her forehead. _

"_Is three minutes up yet?" She whined._

"_Way to ruin the mood..." _

"_Well, is it?" _

"_Uhhh, actually, just about."_

"_Yay." She said, clapping her hands together. _

"_Are you ready?" He asked, a few seconds later._

"_Yes, just look at it already."_

"_Okay, one...two...three." And on the count of three they both looked. _

_And there it was, on the test. Some symbol that if you looked in the instructions, you would find meant positive. _

"_Oh my god. I'm pregnant!"_

"_Yeah, you are." Lucas smiled just as widely as Brooke had._

"_I love you." _

"_I love you, too, pretty girl." He enveloped her into a hug and kissed her passionately. Could life get any better?_

"The doctors said it would take some time. Everything will turn out fine." Lucas said as he pulled her closer to him. _Everything will turn out fine. _In the past week and a half he didn't know how many times he had said those words, even in different variations and such. It felt like a billion, though. But that was his job, to be optimistic, to make Brooke feel comfortable.

"I know." She sighed, defeated, but then returned her gaze on Emma and smiled a bit. "We just have to take our victories as they come, right?"

"That's right." His solemn face turned into a grin. "That's exactly right." He mumbled it this time and then kissed Brooke's chocolate-colored hair.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

She woke up to the bright sun peering through the blinds. When she looked over to the alarm clock, she was surprised to see that it wasn't nine in the morning, the usual time she would wake up, but twelve in the afternoon. She jumped a little in shock as she heard banging from a room down the hall.

"Lucas?" She called out into the hallway following the noise. When she finally reached the room, she peered inside to see Lucas hammering something against the wall.

"Oh, hey." He said, placing the hammer down.

"What's this?" She asked, stepping into the room that smelled of fresh paint.

"Well, this is something that should have been done about a month ago, but I never really got around to it." He said, not wanting to give her details of the whole fight they had had a few weeks ago.

"Oh." She said, glancing around the room. The walls were painted a pale pink and there were pieces of what she presumed to be part of a crib on the floor. "Well it looks pretty good so far."

"You think?"

"Yeah." She said, giving him a small, simple smile. "But I'm sure it will be much better when you get all these pieces put together."

"Yeah, I was thinking that, too." He smiled back at her and picked up his hammer again."Well, I better get back to work if we're going to have Emma in a few days." He started going back to hammering when he realized she was still standing there, in a daze. "You alright?"

"Actually..." She paused and then returned her gaze on him. "For first time in a while, I think I will be."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - I know that wasn't as long as last chapter and I'm sorry. I just really wanted to end it there; next chapter should be longer. **

**ALSO, as of next chapter this story is probably not going to be as dark and sad as the first few chapters have been. Obviously, it won't all be happy because they're still dealing with a tragedy, but now they also have a daughter thrown into the mix so it should be interesting to see how that plays out. **

**PLEASE REVIEW! (You know the drill, more reviews equals a quick update!)**

**Thanks so much! **

–**Melissa**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N - Hey, sorry it's been a while. I've just been REALLY busy with school (tests, projects, you know how it goes). This chapter isn't so great but I feel in order to progress in the story, I need a few filler chapters, you know? **

**Anyways, Thanks: **Brooke6404, othfan326, dolcegrazia, BrOoKe DaViS23, mk, Liz, SmileLikeYooMeanIt, brucas333, Brook-Lucas-Fan-23, myla84, BDavis427, Brucas True Love, lanenapr252005, HSMX3OTH, B. Davis, CheerandBrood323, TypoKween, awhero, brucas224, princetongirl, chebelle, erika x3, Amanda, **and **iluvmedou

**Please Enjoy and Review! **

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back

Chapter 6 -

"Lucas." She mumbled sleepily, tossing in her bed once more while trying to make her pillow serve as ear plugs.

She had been up all last night getting Emma to stop crying and it seemed like when she finally did, Brooke would go back to sleep only to be woken up again five minutes later.

"Lucas?" She sighed when she realized the crying wasn't going to stop any time soon. Placing her feet on the ground, she was greeted by a note on the night stand beside the bed.

It was sloppily written and was from Lucas. He was at work...again.

"What a surprise." She said under her breath, getting up off the bed to see her way to the crying infant in the room down the hall.

"_Hey." She smiled at her husband who walked through the front door. He was in his work attire and looked exhausted. "You're home late." _

"_You're up late." He responded, then gave her a kiss on her cheek. _

"_Well that's because I was waiting for you."_

"_Right." He grinned and took her hand in his. "What's this?" He motioned towards a paper with a list of names sitting on the coffee table. Some of the names were circled while others were crossed out with large, thick marks. _

"_This is the list of names I've cut it down to."_

"_Names? Brooke, babe, we don't even know if it's a girl or boy yet." _

"_Well, I figured I'd get a head start."_

"_Okay. Well let me see these names." He studied the list for a minute before breaking the comfortable silence. "They're all girl names." _

"_Well, yeah. That's because we're having a girl." He looked at her confused and curious so she went into further explanation. "Trust me, I can feel it. It's all part of these motherly instincts, or whatever." _

"_Oh, I see." He laughed and stared into her beautiful eyes. If they did have a daughter, she would be just like Brooke, and he'd be perfectly fine with that. It would no longer matter that he wanted to have a little boy to teach basketball to. A little girl would be perfect. "So what names do we have so far." _

"_Hmmm...Um, no, that one's crossed out. Well there's, actually that's crossed out, too. Oh, there's...nevermind."_

"_Okay, what do we have that's not crossed out?"_

_She scanned the list until one name was circled. "Emma." _

"Emma." She closed the door to the nursery behind her and then advanced towards the crib. "Shhh...It's okay, don't cry. Mommy's here." She picked the baby up from the crib and rocked her back and forth.

But nothing worked. The only thing Brooke had succeeded in doing was making her daughter cry even louder.

With Emma still in her arms, she sat down on the rocking chair. Why was nothing working? Was she a horrible mother?

And before she knew it, not only was her daughter crying, but she was, too. Because it had been two weeks since things were supposedly "getting back on track" and yet nothing had quite gotten back on the right track yet.

When the accident happened, she had gone to sleep in one world and woke up in a completely different one. And she also turned into a _mother_. And that was a huge adjustment. Not only was she responsible for herself, but for someone else now, too. Her daughter...who only seemed to want her father, from her actions anyway.

She only cried when Lucas was gone and when he came back, it was as if she were the perfect baby. No screaming, no crying, just silence.

She still had no memory of before the accident and she still couldn't drive just yet. And Lucas was always at work. Sometimes she wonders if he was like that before the accident, too. A workaholic. But there's no importance in asking such question. He's simply working a lot because they only have one income coming in with Brooke off from work. Well, that's his answer all the time anyway. And she's always too confused and too caught up with the baby to bother to question him.

"Emma, baby, please." But it was no use. She was practically failing at life.

"_Emma." Lucas said the name. "Emma Scott. I like it." He then turned towards his wife and planted a kiss on her lips. Life seemed so perfect. _

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

She sighed defeated as she furiously ripped another page out of her sketchbook. How could she have ever been a fashion designer if her sketches looked this horrible?

She stared at the garbage can that was now overflowing with crumbled pieces of paper, and shook her head. This was not working.

It was a conversation late last night with Lucas that got her thinking. Maybe she should start drawing up designs again, maybe it would help her remember something.

"_Hey, you seem stressed." _

"_Just a bit." She mumbled but managed to shoot him a small smile. "It's nothing, though. I've just been up late these past few days. With Emma and everything...I'm just tired, I guess." _

_He nodded in understanding before residing to a seat on the couch beside her. "Well, I'm off from work tomorrow so she shouldn't be so bad." _

"_Yeah, 'cause she loves you." _

"_Come on, she loves you too, Brooke. Look, I think you need a break. Tomorrow, don't worry, I'll take care of Em, and you just relax. "_

"_That actually sounds like a pretty good idea."_

"Emma just went to sleep. So how's it going? Getting anywhere?" Lucas came into the room disrupting Brooke from her thoughts.

"No." She slumped down into her chair dramatically. "I can't draw...or sketch...or whatever." She threw her sketch pencil down onto her work area.

"It's alright. You'll get better at it."

"But when Lucas? Soon? Was that going to be your answer? Because that's the only answer I seem to get lately. And nothing's happened yet!" She said before covering her face with her hands. She wasn't going to cry. No, she'd done too much of that lately. She'd have to stay strong this time. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to..."

"No, it's fine. You're right. You need a break. From all of this. And you know what...Tomorrow night we're going to go out."

"What? But what about Emma?"

"I'll call Haley, she'll have no problem watching her."

"I don't know, Lucas. I don't think it's such a good idea."

"It'll be fine. Please? You need this."

"Well...Fine."

"Really."

"Yeah. Sounds like a date." She smiled at him and he smiled back. God, he missed her smile and those dimples that appeared with it.

He was right, she did need this. And if a night away from the craziness would help, then why not.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - Bad right? And short, too. I know. I didn't like it that much. Next chapter will be better. **

**It will have much more Brucas interaction so don't worry!**

**I would like to say thanks again for the reviews, I'm shocked at how many I'm getting. And the numbers seem to be consistent throughout, too. Which is awesome! So please, I hope you continue to review.**

**Thanks!**

–**Melissa**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N - Hello! So it's only been a week since I last updated, and that's pretty good for me. Anyways, I'm so happy because I'm off for a whole week! YAY! School's been really stressful and I still have tons of projects to complete over the break. That means as much as I'd like to UD as much as possible, it definitely won't be every day. I'll see what I can do though. It all depends on the amount of reviews! **

**I want to say thanks to: **chebelle, brucas224, myla84, MissUnderstood92, Brooke6404, othfan326, CheerandBrood323, Liz, brucas333, Kate, HSMx3OTH, vanessa.k, beepersheartsbrucas, SmileLikeYooMeanIt, awhero, Brook-Lucas-Fan-23, BDavis427, BrOoKe DaViS23, moonman, hiddenxtalent, TutorWife, B. Davis, Amanda, **and **reina123.

**Enjoy and review, please!**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back 

Chapter 7 -

_She was brought out of her trance after hearing a noise. She got up off her chair, expecting it to be Lucas, but instead she was greeted with an empty hallway. It must have just been the wind. _

_She sighed, plopping back down onto the couch. He had been coming home late quite often in the past week or so. But tonight was important. She had told him to be home on time because she had a doctor's appointment. A special one, too. _

_He had called her a few hours ago telling her to go to the doctors without him, and if he got out on time, he'd meet her there. She had arrived at the office late and had even let two patients go before her. And he still hadn't showed up, so by then she just decided it was time. _

_And it was then she found out that she was having a girl. They were having a baby girl. And as special as it would have been to find that out with Lucas, just the thought of a little baby girl made it all better._

_Deciding it was getting too late, she picked up the phone and dialed his office number. _

_It rang and rang, and finally..._

"_No...Lucas..., stop." A voice giggled. "Hello?" Brooke's face fell upon hearing the voice. It was a girl's voice. _

"_This isn't Lucas." She said out loud._

"_No, this is his editor, Lindsey–." And before the woman could go any further, Brooke ended the call. _

_Lindsey, she would never forget that name. _

"Pool?" She asked incredulously. "I don't play pool, I don't know howto play pool."

"Come on." He said while taking her hand and guiding her through the dark, musty room. "You're going to have fun, I promise."

She knew it wasn't a good idea from the start. Leaving a hysterically crying baby at home was the first sign. But both, Lucas and Haley, insisted that Brooke needed a night to relax and have fun. Except relaxation and a fun night were definitely not the two most important things on her list at the moment.

The second sign came when the two entered Blue Post, an outdated bar whose decor may have looked good ten years ago. Looking around, she noted that she and Lucas quite possibly could be the only two there that have real i.d.s, not some fake ones.

"Look I know this is not what you may have pictured when I said a night out—."

"No, definitely not."

"But." He continued. "I figured going out for dinner or something wouldn't do the trick. You need to do something entertaining, therefor you can get your mind completely off the craziness we have going on back at home."

"I guess that makes sense." She offered him a small smile.

"Alright, then let's get this date going." He said, grabbing a cue for her and himself.

Lucas knew exactly what to plan when Brooke had finally agreed to go out for the night. It would be centered around a certain date they had gone on in junior year of highschool; their first date to be more specific. Taking her to that bar that had started it all seemed like the perfect idea. But he wasn't going to let her know why he had brought her to the bar, or the importance of it either. He only wished that it would all come back to her. Just by semi-recreating that night, she would put the pieces together. If all went as planned, the night would end perfectly, or so he hoped.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Hey, Luke?" They had played a few rounds of pool, and it was no surprise to Lucas that Brooke had one the majority of them. After all, Brooke always did love beating boys at pool.

"Yeah." He looked up from his drink.

"Thanks for this. You were right, I did need it."

"Don't mention it. Of course the night could have gone better if you hadn't called up Haley every ten minutes."

"Sorry." She mumbled, smiling sheepishly.

"Just kidding. And I do have to admit, while you were in the bathroom, I called Haley, too." He admitted. "Anyway, I'm really glad to see you feeling so much better. You seem so much happier."

"I am. I guess. I mean, I'm trying, and that's all that matters, right?"

"Right."

"God, I can't believe I'm a mother." She surprised herself when she felt a smile spread across her face. Days ago, the thought would just make her sad, upset, and scared. Now, though, the thought seemed so surreal and so thrilling.

"I know. Emma, she's just, she's so amazing, isn't she?

"Yeah. She is. Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"It's just, well, you're always at work lately. Leaving the house early, not getting back until the late hours in the night..." She saw him squirm uncomfortably in his seat and she knew something was up.

"It's just business, Brooke." He simply brushed the question off, finishing with a gulp of his drink.

"You're lying."

"Excuse me?" He asked, defensively. He didn't mean for his words to come off so harsh and so cold. "Look, I'm sorry, but, it's just there's a whole bunch of stuff going on at work."

"So why can't you tell me about it?"

"Because, it's just real complicated. And you have enough to worry about already. Trust me, everything's fine."

"Fine." She sighed defeated. Out of everything that dealt with the accident weeks ago, one of the things she absolutely hated was how he treated her—like a baby. He was careful with everything he said around her. But the only problem was, what if she never got better? What if her memory never came back to her? Would he not want to discuss certain things just to make sure she didn't feel uncomfortable?

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

After finishing drinks, Lucas suggested taking a nice walk along the river.

Draping his jacket over her shoulders, he decided to break the silence the two had resorted in moments before.

"You've been awfully quiet."

"Yeah, there's been a lot of that lately."

"Brooke, please. You've got to trust me. Remember, this is the only way things are going to work. If there was something going on, I'd tell you."

"Would you, though?"

"What's that mean?"

"What I mean is, you've been carefully wording everything you say not to upset me. Some things you don't even tell me. And I know you don't like to hear this but it's true. What if I never remember anything ever again? Is this how we're going to spend the rest of lives? You walking on eggshells trying not to get me upset? God, Luke. I mean, seriously, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. A night out is definitely not going to fix any of this. I don't know why I even agreed to this. I should probably call Haley. I'll tell her we're coming back now." Brooke rambled on, running a hand through her chocolate hair, frustrated.

"Brooke, Brooke. Calm down." He placed two firm hands on her shoulders.

"Please, can we just go home?"

He looked around them at all the people enjoying a nice walk. It was a perfect night, not even that cold out either. There were couples holding hands, friends joking around, and even a few families enjoying a night out on the town. And he could barely remember when he had all that. That life...full of happiness. And then he returned his gaze on his wife. He stared into her beautiful, pleading eyes, and she looked so helpless and alone.

"Yeah." He took his hands off of her. "We can go home."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Hey, Emma." Brooke sat down in the rocking chair beside the crib. It was late at night and not only was Emma asleep, but Lucas was, too. "I know I'm not the best mommy to you, but I'm trying. So badly. It's just been hard for your daddy and me lately. But we love you so much." She was talking to a sleeping baby, but somehow this comforted her and made her feel so much better. "You know, I'm just trying to be the best person I can through all of this. It doesn't help that you don't like me that much either." She smiled through her tears, which by now, a few had made their way down her cheeks. "I know you love me, though. I just wish you'd stop crying for me and start crying for your daddy. I think he's starting to get a little conceited about it all." She rubbed the baby's stomach with a rhythmic pattern and before she knew it, the baby was wiggling and gurgling in her crib. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." Brooke cooed, and carefully picked Emma up."Hey, look at that, you're not crying. You're not crying." Brooke tickled her belly slightly.

The tiny baby girl in her arms giggled and smiled at her. "So you do like me after all." Brooke smiled, kissing Emma's soft skin. "I love you so much. And I promise, for you, I'm going to get better."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

After putting Emma down for her nap the next day, Brooke wasn't going to waste anytime. Lucas was at work again and she had the house all for Emma and herself. Instead of dwelling on everything, she would study and work on her sketches and try to get better at them.

After searching the house for ten minutes, no sketches were in sight. She decided to give Lucas a call, hoping he'd remember where she placed them last.

"Hello." An annoyingly friendly voice greeted Brooke over the phone. But it wasn't Lucas's voice.

"Um, who's this?"

"This is Lindsey, may I ask who is calling?"

Brooke stared at the crisp, white wall in front of her.

Lindsey.

Lindsey.

"Oh my god."

"Hello? Is anybody there?" The voice on the other end asked.

Before Brooke could hear anymore, she hung up the phone.

Lindsey. She would never forget that name.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - Uh Oh! Okay, so I guess you can tell what's going on here. Please don't hate me! **

**Also, I'm aware this chapter isn't super long, but it's definitely longer than my last chapter. Please bear with me as I try to adjust to writing long chapters, it's never been my forte. **

B. Davis - I hope you enjoyed that tiny Brooke/Emma scene I put in there for you!

**PLEASE REVIEW EVERYONE!**

**Thanks!**

–**Melissa**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N - I spent pretty much all day yesterday thinking about what I should do for this story. I know many people hate the fact that it seems like Lucas is cheating but I've sort of always had that storyline in the back of my mind. Anyway, I decided to write something else, not sure it will seem better or anything, but I definitely think it's better than what I intended on doing (I'll explain at the bottom). Please, even if what Lucas did is wrong, don't stop reading the story because of it! Please!**

**Thanks: **reina123, Brucas True Love, stefybboh, B. Davis, beepersheartsbrucas, Rena, Brook-Lucas-Fan-23, myla84, othfan326, hiddenxtalent, TutorWife, onetreehillgirl066, HSMx3OTH, SmileLikeYooMeanIt, IamCaroline, CheerandBrood323, moonman, BrOoKe DaViS23, TypoKween, Miv246, **and **Brooke6404.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back

Chapter 8 -

"_How is she?" Brooke asked, arms crossed over her chest. _

"_How is who?" _

"_Lindsey...or whatever that whore's name is." _

"_Woah, woah. Let's back up here. What happened?"_

"_I called your office today and some skank answered the phone. And she was giggling and calling your name. 'Ohh, Lucas, stop.'" Brooke imitated the girl she had heard on the phone. _

"_Brooke—." _

"_So how is she? Lindsey, the girl you've been screwing behind my back. What's it like?"_

"_Okay, now that is possibly the stupidest thing you've said, Brooke. You know you can trust me."_

"_Why? Because you'd never do that to me? Junior year anybody?" _

"_Are we really going back to that whole highschool love triangle fiasco? Brooke, c'mon. Tell me what's going on."_

"_Why don't you tell me? Are you cheating on me?" By now tears have welled up in her eyes and she's not sure if it's just the pregnancy hormones acting up or if she's really upset. Whichever kind of tears they were, she was not going to let them fall. Because by showing Lucas she was crying, she was showing him he was winning. He was hurting her. _

"_Brooke!" _

"_What? You expect me to believe you after what went on during highschool? Especially now, when I call up your office to be greeted by a friendly ho!" _

"_Oh god, Brooke. I can't even talk to you when you're like this!" _

"_Then don't talk to me! I'm going to bed." She finished off venomously. "And by the way, I still haven't heard you say 'no Brooke, you know I love you and would never do that again'!" _

Brooke was sitting up in bed late at night when she was startled by the closing of a door downstairs. She looked to her left and was greeted with bright, red numbers on the alarm clock. 12:14. It seemed as though Lucas had just gotten home, and though it was still extremely late, this was actually record time for him in the past few days.

After putting Emma to bed, Brooke was in bed by 10:30. But she just couldn't fall asleep. And it was all because of one name. Lindsey. There was a feeling she got when thinking about that name, and she just couldn't get rid of it. What made it worse was that this was the first thing she had remembered, too.

A few days after the accident, she would sit by the beach and just think. Think about everything. And she would always like to think about what she would remember first. And everytime that happened, she would think it would be something involving Lucas. Whether it be their first kiss, or when he asked her to marry him. And then she found out about Emma. And then finding out she was pregnant was added to her list of possibilities of what she would remember first. But of course those things would never be the first to be remembered. Because that would make everyone too happy. It was something that would only happen in a fairytale.

Instead, she was stuck with some name she knew nothing about. Lindsey.

Lindsey. There was definitely something about that name. And then suddenly, she remembers something. She actually remembers something. It's something from a few months ago, or at least she presumes. _"Are you cheating on me?" _

"Oh, no." She muttered. "This can't be happening."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

She quietly stepped out of bed and made her way downstairs to where Lucas was sitting. The television was on, but the volume was so low it sounded as if it were on mute.

"Hey."

"Oh, hey, Brooke." He replied, taking his head away from the book he was engrossed in moments before. "I didn't mean to wake you when I came in."

She didn't look at him, she was too scared, and too disgusted, to look at him. "You didn't wake me. I was up." She said, pacing back and forth.

"Are you okay?" And suddenly, he got concerned.

"Umm. No, not really. You see, I called your office today and..." She stopped midway. She didn't want to go right out and accuse him, incase she did happen to be wrong. "Somebody picked up and it wasn't you." She stared at him and his facial expression could most definitely be read as, "oh shit". "Who's Lindsey?"

"Brooke..."

"Who is she Lucas? Did you cheat on me? Are you cheating on me?"

And suddenly it feels like deja vu.

"Brooke, listen to me—."

"Oh my god." She gasped out. "Oh my god. Oh my god. I can't even look at you anymore." She cried, feeling sick.

"Brooke, please—."

"I can't believe you." She shook her head. Her tears had by now run down her cheeks in long streaks. Wet, hot, salty tears. "Why? I trusted you." She whimpers. "I trusted you! I have to be the stupidest person on the planet. I trusted you with everything! You told me I could trust you! I bet you were happy, right? Happy when I got into that accident? 'Cause you thought you'd be off the hook. How long, Lucas?"

"Brooke...Baby... I don't know what you want me to say—."

"Don't you dare call me baby! What I want you to say? The truth! That's all I wanted, Lucas!"

After all her yelling, it was no surprise seconds later baby Emma's screaming flooded the air.

"I'll get her." Lucas attempted, getting up from his seat.

"No. No. You just...just go back to work. I'll get her."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Kids, stop it!" Brooke could hear Haley's muffled voice through the door. It was early the next morning and Brooke didn't know who else to turn to. "Brooke." She sounded surprised when the door finally opened. There stood Brooke, wearing a tear-stained face, with Emma bundled in her arms. "Come in."

"Hi, Aunt Brooke, are you okay?" Avery runs over to her mother and aunt. "Is baby Emma okay?"

"They're both fine, sweetie." Haley replied for Brooke. "Jamie why don't you take Avery and Ryan upstairs for a little bit. Go see what dad is doing."

"But what about breakfast, mommy?" Avery asked.

"Breakfast is going to be a little late today."

"Come on Avery." James said, picking up his little brother from the highchair, then grabbing his little sister's hand.

Once the kids were upstairs Brooke broke down, with Emma still in her arms. "I'm sorry for coming here like this...but I didn't know where else to go. Peyton's gone for the week and..."

"Brooke, calm down. What's the matter?" Haley asked, taking the baby out of Brooke's arms and rocking her back and forth.

"I think Lucas cheated on me. _Is_ still cheating on me."

"What?" Haley's eyes widened in shock.

"Guys, what's going on?" Nathan asked.

"Nothing. Nathan, can you just take Emma upstairs with you for a bit."

"Hales...?"

"Please, Nathan."

Nathan nodded reluctantly and then retreated up the staircase.

"How did you...How do you know?

"I called Lucas up at work the other day and somebody named Lindsey answered. I know that doesn't say much but I just remembered something about her name. And then I remembered asking him if he was cheating on me. I just can't remember anything else."

"Okay." Haley processed it all while rubbing Brooke's back, in attempt to calm her down. "Okay. I'm going to call Lucas."

"No. No, don't."

"Brooke, we have to get to the bottom of this. What if it's all a huge misunderstanding?"

"And what if it isn't? He told me I could trust him. He told me that he was here for me. He told me he was telling me the truth about everything. I let him all the way in after the accident and if I found out that he's been lying about everything this whole time, I just, I don't know what I'd do."

"Brooke..."

"And I can't remember anything else besides that stupid name Lindsey. And I asked him about it and he just sat there, and he didn't say anything. He tried denying it, but the look on his face...it gave it all away. I couldn't even look at him anymore, Haley."

"Okay, look. I want you to calm down and rest. I don't want you jumping to any conclusions. I'm going to go over there and set everything straight. I'm going to get to the bottom of this, okay? Brooke, Lucas loves you, okay? Just know that."

Brooke nodded. "I hope I'm wrong about this all."

"Me too." Haley got up from her seat and started walking towards the front door.

"Haley?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. You've been a great friend."

Haley nodded with a smile and then left.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Haley, were Brooke and Emma at your house?" Lucas opened the door looking frazzled. It was evident that he had just woke up.

"What the hell did you do to your wife, Luke?"

"I didn't...I mean...I did, but..."

"So you are cheating on her?"

"Haley, I...maybe you should come in."

"Lucas, please tell me you aren't cheating on her."

"I love Brooke, Haley."

"Yeah. You loved her in highschool, too. Right?"

"The thing with Lindsey...it's complicated."

"It's not complicated, Luke. You're at work 27/7 and cheating is the only thing that makes logical sense, at least from what I heard from Brooke."

Lucas sighed, leaning back. "A few months ago, Brooke and I, we got into a fight. And I had just hired Lindsey, my editor. I stormed off and went to work and she was there still. And we talked a lot. We went out for drinks and before we knew it, we were in a hotel room."

"Lucas! I can't believe you."

"It was only one time. And I regret it so much! But I was drunk and I didn't know what was going on! God, that was the moment I knew I screwed my life up so much."

"You're right. You did screw up. But what's with you at work so much if it was only one time, a couple months ago?"

"I told Lindsey the next day that it was a huge mistake, and if my wife ever found out, it'd pretty much end my marriage. And I was contemplating whether or not I should have fired Lindsey, but I decided not to. Because it wasn't just her fault. And then we became really close. Close friends. And she was really there for me during the times I needed someone to talk to. When Brooke and I got into a fight, or when Brooke had the accident. And sometimes, I just, I can't be at home now because I just can't stand it that Brooke's suffering from something she has no control over. And work seems like my only escape. But nothing is going on with Lindsey anymore. I would never do that to her again. Especially now, when we're both so broken up and stressed over what's happened."

Haley sighed deeply. "You know you screwed up real bad?"

"I know. God, I know that. I just don't know what to do any more."

"You have to tell Brooke."

"But...I just..."

"Lucas, unless you want a divorce, that's your only option. Right now all she thinks is that you are still cheating on her while she's at home raising your child alone. You have to remember, she doesn't remember anything, or know anything, besides that. You need to talk to her, explain your whole story. It gives you a better chance at her forgiving you than where you are right now. I'm not saying she won't be mad, but it's better than nothing."

"You're right. I need to go talk to Brooke."

He really needed to talk to Brooke. He was about to come clean to her about everything.

And he meant it this time. Hopefully, that would mean something to Brooke.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - So the truth comes out. Lucas cheated on Brooke with Lindsey once (horrible, I know). Truth is, I was gonna make him still cheating but then I realized that would be way too much to forgive. So he and Lindsey got drunk and slept together. He never told Brooke about it, and now it has come up again to haunt him. And the reason he is always at work is because at home, he'll get too upset about Brooke and stuff.**

**To 'Rena', I understand exactly what you were saying in that review about the cheating. Your review is what made me decide to have him only cheat once. I know once or five times, it doesn't matter, but at least he wasn't doing it while Brooke was all alone with Emma and stuff. Sorry if you're not happy with what I've decided to do.**

**I hope everyone is okay with the way I played things out. I didn't think this chapter was that good, but what was I going to do? It was something that needed to be done, you know? **

**Anyways, Please Review! I love the reviews you guys leave me! **

**Also, check out my newest story "What's True." Thanks!**

–**Melissa**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N - I really just want to say that you guys have been absolutely amazing with the reviews! I hope everyone has been getting my review replies, and for those anonymous reviewers, just know that I appreciated your reviews just as much!**

**Thanks: **othfan326, SmileLikeYooMeanIt, Brucas True Love, BDavis427, B. Davis, onetreehillgirl066, Rena, Photogirl 16, BrOoKe DaViS23, beepersheartsbrucas, Brook-Lucas-Fan-23, chophia-brucaslove, moonman, Brooke6404, brucas224, TutorWife, TypoKween, reina123, catcat51092, IamCaroline, hiddenxtalent, chebelle, brucas333, **and **awhero.

**I'm telling you now, this chapter is pretty short, but I really like how I wrote the emotions and stuff in the beginning of the chapter. I hope it's good! Enjoy!**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000Finding My Way Back

Chapter 9 -

"Get away from me." She said, not looking at his blue eyes. She didn't want to look at them. She didn't want to see the look of regret and guilt in them, either.

"Brooke—."

"I said get away from me! Haley, get him away from me!" She could feel the anger rise and her face felt as if it were on fire. She was starting to pace around the room, wanting to be anywhere but here, with him. Because she knew that this confrontation would change everything; change more than the accident did, too.

"Lucas, maybe you should go." Haley tried, glancing back at the door. "Nathan and the kids should be getting back soon, and I really don't think they should see this." Haley looked around the room. Brooke was crying in the corner, a lamp beside her lay broken, and Lucas stood in the midst of it all.

"Haley, she's my wife. I need to tell her. I need to talk to her." He then turned to Brooke and it killed him.

She looked scared, angry, confused, and fragile, all jumbled together. And to him, it was the scariest sight he'd ever seen. It wasn't because he'd never seen Brooke upset before; they'd been married for a few years, of course they'd gotten into fights before and she'd been sad and angry. But because he made her this way. He made her feel this way. He made her break that valuable lamp that lay beside her. And _that _was what was scary.

"Brooke, please. I need you to listen." He sounded so hopeless and maybe that was why Brooke nodded and sat up, wrapping her arms around her knees which had been brought up to her chin.

"How could you do this to me?" She whimpered. Her voice was raw and with each and every word, Lucas could have sworn he felt a knife cut through him.

By now, Haley had slipped out of the room and it was just the two of them left. "How could you do this to me after all I've been through?"

"It was only once." He moved closer, touching her arm.

She jumped a bit from his touch before pushing his hand away. "Don't touch me. I don't care if it was once or fifteen times, it still means something. When was it, Lucas?"

"A few months ago. God, Brooke, I never told you because it didn't mean anything! It didn't. And then the accident happened and I just thought we'd start over fresh. You didn't need to know what happened before. I was just worried about getting you better."

"But a few months ago when I asked you, you told me nothing was happening. You lied to me this whole this time."

"I know, I know. But it was only once, Brooke. And I was drunk and—."

"You were drunk..." She stated, shaking her head. "You think that excuses what you did? You think that's a good excuse? You think I'll just say 'hmmm, you know what? You were drunk. And it was only once. I guess you're off the hook.'? I don't care if you were drunk or sober, it doesn't matter."

"What about Chris Keller? And Nathan. What about them?" He knew he shouldn't have said that. That was totally uncalled for, especially now, when Brooke didn't know any of that.

"What?"

"You slept with them, Brooke. In highschool, when you were drunk."

She stared at him for a second. Her vision was a bit blurry from her teary eyes but her hearing definitely wasn't screwed up. Had he really just said that? "I can't believe you just said that! When I know nothing about those two things, you use it against me? Yes, Lucas, I guess according to you, I did sleep with them when I was drunk. But like you said, that was highschool! You are a man, a grown man. You're a married man, too! And I was pregnant! You wanna play that game? You really want to play that game?"

"Brooke, please! What can I do to make this all better?"

"There's nothing you can do, Lucas! That's the problem! You waited too long. And how do I know it was only once? You've lied to me before. Why are you still there all the time? I can't even trust you anymore. My own husband I can't even trust. And I can't even look at you, either." Her words were just spilling out of her mouth and when the final one came out, she buried her head in her hands and cried.

"Brooke..."

"Just leave." She mumbled into the palms of her hands. "Please. Just go."

"I love you, Brooke." And after that, all Brooke heard were footsteps fading away in the distance. A part of her wanted him to stay, just wait until she calmed down. Who knows how long that would be though. But she wanted him to fight for her, and he clearly wasn't doing that.

But she had told him to leave, and he did. So she had to give him credit for that, at least.

She needed her space.

"Brooke?" A voice from the doorway called. Brooke looked up; it was Haley. "Are you gonna be okay?"

She put her face back into her hands and cried. "No." She managed to mumble out. "I don't think so."

Haley moved towards her and kneeled down. "We're here for you." She rubbed her back soothingly and hugged her. "You're gonna be okay."

"I hope so." She cried.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Her eyes were red and sore from all the crying she had done during the day. It felt like it had been months since the whole confrontation had happened, yet it was just a few mere hours ago. And if she couldn't handle it for that short amount of time, what was going to happen next?

"Hey, baby." Her voice was raspier than usual. "How are you doing?" She moved closer to Ryan's old crib; a crib in which Haley took out of the basement to use for Emma.

Emma squirmed in the crib and let out a whimper.

"Yeah, I feel the same way." She carefully lifted the baby out of the crib, the blanket still wrapped around her tiny body. "I bet you miss your daddy, huh? But I'm still here. And we're going to be okay. I promise I'm not going to let you down." She kissed Emma's forehead, letting a few of her tears fall from her porcelain skin. "Tomorrow I'm going to get all this figured out, so don't you worry, okay? Mommy's going to set everything straight." She cradled Emma in her arms and walked across Nathan and Haley's guest room to a sofa. She sat down, shaking a bit. "Did I ever tell you how lucky I am to have you, Emma? You're so beautiful and perfect...I couldn't have asked for a better baby girl. I'd be so lost without you, Em."

Eventually Emma was put back into the crib and Brooke went to bed, though she hadn't fallen asleep during the first two hours she had lied there.

She had a lot of thinking to do that night.

About Lucas. About what was best for her. About what was best for Emma. About everything.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - A lot of people liked the last Brooke/Emma scene I put in, so there's another! I'm sorry this chapter wasn't very happy Brucas-y, but I'm trying to make this as realistic as possible! **

**PLEASE REVIEW! THANKS!**

–**Melissa**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N - Thanks so, so, so, so much!!!! You guys are seriously the best!**

**Thanks: **othfan326, myla84, TypoKween, Miv246, TutorWife, reina123, Brooke6404, awhero, B. Davis, hiddenxtalent, brucas333, SmileLikeYooMeanIt, MissUnderstood92, Simoman, BDavis427, CheerandBrood323, Brook-Lucas-Fan-23, chebelle, BrOoKe DaViS23, moonman, **and **IamCaroline.

**Seriously, I love all your reviews, and you people always make me smile:)**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back

Chapter 10 -

In the past week and a half, after spending a copious amount of time in Nathan and Haley's home, Brooke felt a tad bit jealous. Nathan and Haley had the perfect family. They had three perfect kids, and were the perfect husband and wife to each other. Most importantly, unlike Brooke, they were _happy_. Happiness and Brooke hadn't been paired together for quite sometime. She assumed from old pictures of her and Lucas, at one point in time they had been happy. Happy and in love. But after recent events, she wasn't sure if she'd ever feel that way again.

Brooke jerked out of her thoughts upon hearing a racket coming from the front door.

"Jamie, give me back my toy!"

"Try and reach it." He tormented his younger sister.

"Okay, that's enough. Jamie, come on, give it back to her. And then I want the both of you to go upstairs to your rooms and start your homework."

Brooke frowned to herself. Haley was the perfect mom; Brooke wasn't. And at the rate she was going, she was never going to be, either.

"Hey, Brooke."

"Hey, Haley. I hope you don't mind me crashing your place."

"Not at all." Haley smiled kindly, placing Ryan in the highchair attached to the end of the kitchen table. "Emma's napping?"

"Yeah. I just put her down."

Haley nodded in understanding. "You okay?" She asked, concerned, after a long silence.

"Yeah." Brooke shrugged it off. "I'm fine, just tired, _very _tired."

"Don't worry. It'll get easier. You wanna talk about it?" Haley closed the dishwasher and advanced towards Brooke, who at the moment was slouched in a chair, her elbows propped up on the table.

"How's Lucas?" Haley eyed Brooke suspiciously; she was definitely not expecting such question to escape Brooke's mouth. Brooke even surprised herself.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"God." Lucas murmured, stepping inside the beach house. "Look at this place." It had been almost a week since he had moved some of his stuff into the house, and it was already looking like a pigsty. Clothes were strewn over the couch, books were lying on the floor, and his eyes could definitely not miss the coffee table that was covered with numerous beer bottles. _So that's what he had been doing last night. _

It would be a safe bet to say that he had been a huge wreck since Brooke confronted him about it all nearly two weeks ago. He had not only not seen Brooke since then, but Emma, too. And all his emotions caused by that definitely showed. He had not been able to get a good night's sleep, hence the bags that lay beneath his eyes. He also hadn't written one thing for his new book, and his deadline for the notes regarding the book were due tomorrow.

He walked towards the answering machine, and pushed a button after seeing the blinking red light.

"Hey, Lucas. It's Lindsey—." And that was all he needed to hear before pressing 'erase' on the small machine. Lindsey, the girl who had practically ruined his family. And though it wasn't only her fault, he couldn't help but blame everything on her. It made him feel better, though it didn't help anything at all because Brooke still wasn't talking to him. But he definitely couldn't blame her about that. She had trusted him with absolutely everything, and relied on him for everything, too.

And because of a stupid mistake he had made months earlier, that all went down the drain. And he couldn't have felt more guilty in his life.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"So he's staying at our beach house?"

Haley nodded wordlessly, feeding Ryan baby food from a small jar.

"Have you spoken to him lately?" She wasn't sure why she was so interested. Maybe a part of her just wanted to know if he was suffering. Because he had made her suffer a lot. And she only hoped that he would be feeling just as miserable as she had been in the past two weeks.

"Brooke, I don't want to tell you something and then have you get all upset."

"Haley, I'll be fine."

"But you know you won't be. Do you remember how you were a week and a half ago? You were a mess, Brooke. And while you're still coping and all, I'd just hate to see you turn back like that."

Brooke nodded; Haley was right. If she wanted nothing to do with Lucas now, then she'd have to not ask about him, either.

"Maybe you should go talk to him." Haley suggested. "Talk things out. I don't know, It's just an idea."

"How, Haley?" Her voice cracked and her eyes immediately watered. She was going to cry again, _great_. "I don't know how I'd be able to do that. I can't even picture myself being in the same room as him anymore. And it sucks because all I can remember, and all I know about my husband, is that he's a liar and a cheater. But I just know there's so much more to him than that, right? I mean there's no way I would have fallen in love with a cheater, right?"

"Luke does love you, Brooke."

"I know, that's what everyone keeps telling me. But then I see what's he's done to me and I sometimes question that. After the accident and all, once I got comfortable with him again, I thought that maybe if I just happened to not get my memory back, maybe it'd all be okay. I'd just have to start all over, but I'd be fine eventually. But then this...this thing comes out and I just don't know anymore." By now the tears that had flooded her eyes were adorning her cheeks, and Haley had placed Ryan back in the highchair and was now sitting next to Brooke, holding her hand.

"And then I look at you and Nathan and your kids, and I just know that I must have been that happy with Lucas one time. But as much as I try to remember something, anything, I just can't. And I always think about him cheating on me, while I was at home, pregnant. And I can't help but think that he's just some horrible person. A horrible, heartless person. I mean, this is perfect timing for all this to come out, with me not remembering anything."

"Brooke, you know this is not your fault."

"I know." She sniffled. "But sometimes I like to think it is. Sometimes I like to think that's it me who messed this all up just so I don't have to deal with the fact that my own husband cheated on me."

"I really think you should go talk to him, Brooke."

"I think so, too. But I don't know if I can..."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

It was the next day, and Emma had been dropped off at Nathan and Haley's. Brooke knew what she needed to do.

"Mr. Scott." Lucas's secretary's voice rang through the phone. "You have someone here to see you."

Lucas sighed, shuffling through some work papers as the phone was cradled between his shoulder and ear. "Uhh, okay. Send them in." Lucas mumbled into the phone right before placing it down.

He picked up his notes again and started to read them over.

"Hi." A voice from the doorway called. It was a low voice, but a raspy one. And he knew who it was even without picking his eyes up off the papers.

"Br—Brooke, please, take a seat." He motioned to the set of chairs in front of his desk.

Brooke, uncomfortably and awkwardly, walked towards the chairs and took a seat. On his desk she saw pictures of the two of them. Some from when she assumed they were in highschool, and even a few were from their wedding. There was also one of Emma sleeping, and she guessed he must have taken it a few days after she had come home from the hospital.

"I'm so glad you came." Upon hearing his voice, hey eyes moved from the photographs to him. "Surprised, but glad." He added after a beat.

"I surprised myself, too. I thought about it, and I realized that we really need to talk."

"We do."

"Where's Lindsey?" She thought it was an appropriate question to ask.

"I let her go. When I got back to work the next day after...you know, I told her this just wasn't working out. She understood,...I think." The truth was, Lindsey didn't understand anything. She obviously thought that his cheating on his wife was no problem at all. And she had been leaving messages on his answering machine almost every day to prove it.

"Lucas, if you think that will change anything—."

"I know it doesn't." He cut her off. "But I just figured that it was something I should have done a long time ago. It would have probably prevented this all from happening. How's Emma?" He decided to change the topic.

"She's good. She misses you."

"I miss her, too. I was wondering, maybe if I could see her..."

"I'm going to be dropping by my office tomorrow, you can go to Nathan and Haley's house and see her then."

He nodded before replying. "Is that how it's going to be from now on? We're going to be avoiding each other each and everywhere we go?"

"Do you have a better solution?"

"Yes, Brooke. I thought that's why you came over here, so we can talk."

"We're talking right now, aren't we?"

"Brooke." He started fidgeting with the pencil on his desk. "I just...I want to know how to make this all better."

"You can't, Lucas." She said in a low whisper. "You can't. Not now anyway."

"So what are we going to do in the mean time?"

"I...I don't know." She bit her lip and tried not to cry. "I'm sorry, this was a bad idea. I think I should go." She quickly got up from her seat and turned towards the door.

"Brooke..." But as the last sound escaped his lips, she was already out the door.

She thought she'd be able to handle it; apparently she was wrong.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - Okay, I don't really like what I have here, but I didn't want you people to wait too long for it. And I don't think it's **_**that**_** bad, just not so good. Idk, let me know please.**

**Anyways, onto a small rant on Lindsey...because for those who don't know by now, I pretty much hate her. She's just so annoying to me, almost more so than Peyton. And it's weird because many people think only L/P fans hate Lindsey, but I hate L/P and I hate Lindsey, so yeah...lol. It's not even the fact that Lindsey has Lucas and Brooke doesn't, she's just so annoying and ugh, it's hard to explain. **

**And regarding Tuesday's epi, well, I felt bad a little bit when she was crying, but in the end I still hated her lol. And the song Peyton made for Lindsey was much better than the one Lindsey made for Peyton, in my opinion anyway lol. **

**But yeah, this season pretty much sucks. I want Brucas, not Lindsey and Lucas, not Pucas, BRUCAS!! **

**Leave your thoughts; review!!!! PLEASE! Thanks!**

–**Melissa**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N - Seriously, I hope all you guys know how much I appreciate your reviews! They always make my day...seriously, I just can't thank you enough!**

**Thanks: **B. Davis, othfan326, Brucas True Love, loonygirl22, Brook-Lucas-Fan-23, brucas224, reina123, MissUnderstood92, bella, chebelle, SmileLikeYooMeanIt, Simoman, IamCaroline, BrOoKe DaViS23, CheerandBrood323, TutorWife, moonman, Mosie1213, myla84, brucas333, **and **awhero.

**Okay, so I didn't like this chapter at all, but I needed to get this out in order to progress in the story. **

**Enjoy!**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back

Chapter 11-

_Her hands were rested on her growing stomach as her eyes were fixated on the wall. Lucas would be coming home any minute and she wasn't sure how she'd begin talking to him about something she knew he didn't like talking about. How could she just bring it up out of the blue?_

_Minutes later, Lucas walked through the front door and looked oddly at his pregnant wife. She was just sitting there, staring at the plain white wall. The t.v. was off and the whole house was filled with absolute silence. "Brooke, what's wrong?" He knew she was going stir-crazy staying home on maternity leave, but he didn't know it was this bad. _

"_Nothing." She mumbled, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. _

"_Brooke..." He walked towards her and sat beside her. "What is it?"_

"_I was just thinking..." She finally began, her voice cracking a bit. "About your heart condition." She blinked, and when her eyes opened again, his blue orbs were directly on her hazel ones. _

_His HCM. He was a bit surprised that she would mention that. Especially so suddenly. He knew she didn't like talking about it, and quite frankly, neither did he. _

"_Brooke, what's this about? I've been taking my medication, nothing's happened in awhile—."_

"—_Not you...The baby." His eyes moved down to her pregnant stomach where her hand rested. He placed a hand over hers, then brought his eyes back up to her. They had never really talked about Lucas's HCM, so it was no surprise a conversation regarding their baby and HCM had never come up._

"_Brooke, this baby is going to be perfectly fine, okay?"_

"_But how do you know that, Luke? It's a generic disease." She had been thinking about that a lot over the past few days. Their baby, who was supposed to be the perfect, most beautiful baby in the world, could possibly have a heart condition. And that thought was one of the scariest things ever. _

She sat in Nathan and Haley's house on the couch and was softly cooing to Emma. Going over to Lucas at work was obviously a mistake and right now, she didn't want to think about what happened the other day when she went to him, or him at all, for that matter.

"Aunt Brooke?" Avery jumped onto the couch where Brooke had been rocking the baby into a light slumber.

"Hey, Avery."

"Where're mommy and daddy?"

"They went out for a little bit. So I'm here to watch you and your brothers today."

"Oh." Avery replied, shaking her head up and down in understanding.

"Where's Jamie?"

"Upstairs playing on his Xbox."

"And you didn't want to join him?"

"Ew. Aunt Brooke, Xbox is boring. I like playing dress up much better. Sometimes mommy lets me wear her clothes!"

"Yeah, dress up does sound more fun." Brooke laughed at the tiny girl.

The two of them hadn't had that much time to hang out together since the accident weeks ago. And Brooke felt bad about it, too. Because from what she's heard, she and Avery had been very close.

"So, what ya doing?" She asked, suddenly interested, while sitting up on her knees.

"Well, I'm just trying to get your cousin to go to sleep."

"She cries a lot."

"That she does. But that's what babies do."

"I never cried."

"Of course you did, silly."

Avery smiled at her aunt and then looked down at her baby cousin. "She's really tiny. Can I hold her?"

Brooke adjusted Emma in her arms before responding. "Well, you can. As long as you be very, very careful and try not to wake her up."

"I promise I will be very careful and I won't wake her up at all."

"All right, now remember. Be very careful, Ave."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Brooke watched the next day as the doctor placed a stethoscope on Emma's tiny, squirming body. It was one of those routine checkups, and since Emma had been born early and had complications, she was going to the doctor's more often than most infants were.

Brooke watched curiously, as the doctor listened to Emma's heart, as she kept moving the piece over the same spot and area, trying to get a better sound.

"Is everything okay?"

The doctor hung the medical apparatus around her neck, then proceeded as she jotted down a few words on the clipboard.

"Emma seemed to be doing just fine until I listened to her heart. It seems that she has a heart murmur."

Brooke eyes widened in shock. She wasn't a very medical-y person, but she knew that whatever it was, couldn't be good. "Well what does that tell us?"

"It could mean absolutely nothing, please don't get me wrong. It doesn't necessarily mean anything's wrong. However, we can't tell at this point if it is just nothing, and we have to take every precaution."

Brooke looked over to Emma who was still on the tiny examining table made just for infants. "So where do we go from here?"

"Well I'd like to run some more tests, an EKG, an echocardiogram. From your records, it says that there's a family history of heart disease."

Brooke's hand went over her mouth. What heart disease? Lucas never mentioned anything to her about heart disease.

"It says your husband has HCM. So it's best we check little Emma out for that, too."

Lucas? HCM?

The rest of what the doctor said became a complete blur to Brooke. Something about getting the tests done as soon as possible. And all Brooke could do was nod.

It seemed like Lucas's conniving, cheating ways wasn't the only thing he'd kept a secret. And now, well now Emma could have this HCM thing, too.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Brooke watched her daughter's chest rise and fall in her crib. She was wrapped in a pale pink blanket and looked absolutely adorable.

It had become a nightly ritual to just sit in Emma's room at night and watch her sleep. It had become something Brooke loved to do. And it was quite possibly the only thing keeping her sane lately, as well.

HCM. She had been thinking about it all day. Thinking about why Lucas hadn't told her about it and how Emma could have it, too. But she had heard the doctor, it could very well be nothing.

But god, if it did happen to be _something_, well that would just be perfect now wouldn't it? After everything, and now that?

And the funny thing was, when she had found out she was a mother, the idea was just utterly ridiculous. Brooke—a mother? But then she actually got used to the role of being a mom and Emma had become her whole life. The reason she was still standing. The reason she was still trying.

And she loved that little girl so much. Not only that, but she would die if anything happened to her.

And what about Lucas? She'd have to call him up tomorrow. And they'd have to _talk_. Just the thought of that made her sick. She'd tried talking; it just didn't work. But this time, for Emma, she'd be able to...hopefully, anyway.

"Night, baby." Brooke whispered, leaning down further in the crib, giving her daughter's soft cheek a kiss.

She'd have to stay optimistic about this all. And hopefully, everything would turn out fine.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - Uh oh! Does Emma have HCM or some other heart condition?? Review and you'll find out!**

**Good? Bad? Let me know. **

**My day really sucked, school was such a bitch (lol, but sadly, it's true)! So please, leave a review. It really does cheer me up...and I need a good cheering up right about now! **

**Anyways, how did everyone like Tuesday's episode? I enjoyed it...you wanna know why??? Lindsey wasn't in it!!! Yay! Lol. But besides that, it still was good...it helped that she wasn't in it though! Lol. **

**I'm not really a Naley fan, but that least scene...omg, it got to me. I think I might have been crying. So sad. **

**Anyways, enough of my talking. Let me know what you think!! Thanks!**

– **Melissa**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N - Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! All your reviews have been amazing!!**

**Thanks: **TutorWife, myla84, moonman, CheerandBrood323, othfan326, Kajal, brucasroxx, Mosie1213, Simoman, brucas333, TypoKween, reina123, awhero, Brook-Lucas-Fan-23, BrOoKe DaViS23, iluvmedou, journey4eva, SmileLikeYooMeanIt, BDavis427, MissUnderstood92, chebelle, **and **onetreehillgirl066.

**Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back

Chapter 12 -

_Her dark-colored hair stood out vibrantly against the pale, white pillow. Her eyes were closed, her chest was moving up and down at a slow pace, and her arms were at her sides. _

_Lucas stood, leaned up against the doorway, with both hands in his pockets. It was his fault that his wife was lying there unconscious. It was his fault their daughter's life was in jeopardy. All of it was his fault._

"_You can come in now." A nurse motioned him in after she finished hooking Brooke up to the last I.V. _

_Lucas slowly stepped in, one foot after another. It was then he finally fully looked at Brooke. And it was scary. _

_There were stitches along her forehead and chin, and a bruise on her cheek. _

"_Brooke." His voice cracked; he was about to cry. He took a seat on the chair next to the bed, grabbing her hand. "Baby, you gotta wake up. I need you...We need you. We have a baby girl. Emma; that's her name. Emma Brooke Scott." He brought her hand up to his lips and brushed his lips against her fingers. "God, I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. And I love you so much, you gotta pull through." _

_Lucas dropped her hand and brought his face down into his hands. And then he cried. _

_He cried because of the feeling of guilt. He cried because of the feeling of uncertainty, too. _

_Things would be okay. Wouldn't they? _

_A moan was then heard from the bed, and he took his hands off his face. _

_Her eyes. Those beautiful, hazel eyes; they were open. _

"_Brooke..."_

"_Who are you?" Her voice croaked out; it sounded hoarse and raspy. _

_Those three words, three simple words, caused his heart to break. She couldn't remember him. She couldn't remember their life and the love they shared. _

_And he knew everything was about to change. _

The rain was pelting against the glass window and it fit her mood perfectly. Dreary and depressing.

She warmed her hands on the mug of coffee, taking a sip every so often.

Today was the day that everything could possibly change. It was Saturday already, and in the world of Brooke, that meant the day Emma was to be tested for HCM.

Her hands reached for the phone that lay on the table. It was only seven-thirty in the morning, and she knew it was a bit too early to be making phone calls, but she hated the feeling of being alone. Emma was still sleeping and Brooke had already been up for two hours. She hadn't been getting much sleep the past few days.

Searching her phone book, while most names she didn't even recognize, she finally came to 'Haley's Cell'. Haley had once told her she'd always keep her cell phone on incase Brooke ever needed anything.

"Hello." A tired voice answered the phone.

"Hey, it's me. Sorry to call so early."

"No, it's fine. Is everything okay?"

"I was just thinking...Do you know if Lucas is going to be home today?"

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Thankfully the rain had let up, and now it was only drizzling.

Within two knocks on the door, a blonde appeared, wearing a shocked expression on his face.

She needed to talk to him about HCM, tell him about the test that would be happening in a few hours, and ask him how she should deal with it.

"Brooke...I wasn't expecting you."

She bit her lip, hoping this would help refrain herself from her tears. "We need to talk...For real this time. No running away."

He gave her a small smile and opened the door more, letting her in. He didn't mind that the place was a complete mess; he was just happy she had finally come to talk to him.

"What's up? Is everything okay?"

She shook her head no. Everything was not okay...at all.

"Brooke, what's going on?"

"Why didn't you tell me about your HCM?" She asked, straight-forward.

"What?" What would make that question come up?

"Your heart condition, why didn't you tell me?"

"Brooke...I don't understand...wha—."

"Emma might have it." She blurted out. And it was then she let her tears fall from her eyes. She didn't care if it made her seem vulnerable and hurt, because it was true. She'd been feeling all that for weeks.

"Oh."

"Oh?" She repeated incredulously, her voice ever so angry. "Oh? Why the hell didn't you tell me?! Did you think it wasn't important? That it wouldn't effect me? Because it does, Lucas! What if something happened to you? And what if something happened to Emma? We could've gotten her tested earlier, Lucas!"

"Brooke, Brooke, calm down. We're all gonna be fine, okay?" He placed two firm hands on her shoulders.

"Don't touch me." She flinched from his touch, taking a seat on the floor, breaking down.

Lucas gave her a minute, seeing if she'd calm down, before he bent down next to her.

"It's gonna be okay, Brooke. We're gonna get her tested and everything will be fine. And if she has it, we'll do whatever we can to make sure she's healthy. Okay?"

"I'm scared." She finally admitted. "Really scared."

He was surprised that when he went to hug her, she didn't pull away. She was even more surprised.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

To both Brooke and Lucas, it seemed like the past few weeks had been like deja vu. Nothing seemed to be going right, and somehow they always ended up waiting in a waiting room.

"Are you okay?"

"What do you think?" She snapped and rolled her eyes.

"Sorry." He mumbled, slumping into his chair.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. It's just...just difficult."

He nodded without saying a word. She was right; things had been difficult, beyond difficult. What was he supposed to say next to that?

"How have you been?"

"Honestly, Brooke, I've been a mess. I miss you two so much, and if I could take back what happened, I would in a heartbeat."

God, she really didn't want to hear him grovel for her forgiveness here, in the waiting room, as they awaited the news of their daughter. "I know." She settled on saying.

"And I am sorry."

"I know that, too."

"Then what's the problem?"

"The problem? Lucas, you cheated on me." She openly said, not caring the other few people in the room had recently engrossed themselves in her and Lucas's conversation. "It may have been months ago, and I may not be the same person I was then, but it still matters."

"And I know it does. But...Is there any way you can forgive me?" He sounded so hopeless and Brooke felt those goddamn tears again.

"Luke..." She whispered softly. She hadn't called him that for a while and it made his heart break.

"Mr. and Mrs. Scott." Their names were called by the receptionist. "The doctor's ready to see you now."

Her answer for Lucas would have to wait. Right now, they needed to know about their daughter.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Lucas, Brooke. Please take a seat."

"How is she?" Brooke asked, concerned.

"Emma's doing fine. We just finished up on the tests."

"Did you find anything?" Lucas jumped in, looking at Brooke. Both of her hands were in her lap and she was tapping her foot. She was nervous and Lucas could tell she was holding her breath.

This was it. The moment everything could change.

"I'm very happy to say that Emma is healthy." The doctor replied with a smile. Lucas and Brooke sighed in relief. "I'll leave you two alone for a few minutes." The doctor excused herself, leaving the room.

"Oh my god." It had just hit her. Her daughter was fine. No HCM. No heart condition. She was fine. And it was then she realized that in the past few days, she had been expecting the worst to happen so she would be prepared. And she had put herself through all that stress for nothing.

"Hey, hey, why are you crying? She's okay, Brooke. She's okay." Lucas said, standing up and walking to her chair.

Brooke brought her hands up to her eyes and wiped some tears away. "I'm just so happy." She sobbed again.

Lucas thought it was appropriate and wrapped her into a tight hug, mumbling into her hair. "She's okay, pretty girl."

Pretty girl. Why did that sound so familiar to Brooke?

"_There are eighty-two letters in here and they're all addressed to you." Her eyes were glossy and it was pretty apparent that she was about to cry any minute now. "I wrote them all this summer. One a day, but I never sent them because I was afraid."_

"_Brooke—."_

"_I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, like before. 'Cause you hurt me so bad. And I was afraid to be vulnerable, and I was afraid of you and the way that you make me feel. And I know that doesn't matter now after what I did. But I just though that you should know. This is how I spent my summer, Luke. Wanting you. I was just too scared to admit it." Her eyes were blurred from tears, and her voice was strangled from her sobs. With that said, she turned towards the door and left his bedroom. It was over. _

"_Brooke!" He called out, and she turned around. "I'm sorry. What you did with Chris, it's okay." _

"_It's not. It can't be. It's too much to forgive." _

"_Well that's too bad, because I forgive you." _

"_You can't."_

"_I just did. So you're just gonna have to deal with it." He gave her a small smile. "I'm the guy for you, Brooke Davis. And I know I hurt you last time we were together but—."_

"_I love you." _

"_I love you, too...__**Pretty girl.**__"_

She pulled away from the hug, and still in his arms she stared into his eyes. Those blue eyes that were beautiful and mysterious. She had just remembered something. And from the memory he seemed like such a great guy, a loving and caring one.

"Brooke?"

And before she even knew it, her lips were on his, sharing a passionate kiss.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - A Brucas kiss! And I just had to include that scene from 3.09!! It's only like one of the best Brucas scenes ever!**

**Okay, so the kiss could go one out of two ways: It could mean good things, or really bad things! Only one way to find out! REVIEW!**

**To **brucasroxx - I didn't really set an age for them, but I guess they're probably like thirty, or early thirties. Thanks again for the review and I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

**Also, how did everyone like Tuesday's episode? I enjoyed it a lot. I like how they brought back a couple of characters (Bevin, Chase). I felt really bad for Jamie, though. Poor kid...**

**Oh yeah, and I still hated Lindsey lol. And I just want Brucas back:)**

**The 100****th**** episode next week is gonna be awesome (I read spoilers, it sounds great!). **

**Anyways, leave a review, please!**

**Thanks**

–**Melissa**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N - Hey, guys! Thanks so much for the wonderful reviews!**

**Thanks: **Kajal, brucas333, pepe123, journey4eva, myla84, onetreehillgirl066, othfan326, BrOoKe DaViS23, Brook-Lucas-Fan-23, reina123, iluvmedou, Mosie1213, catcat51092, erika x3, brucasroxx, chebelle, Simoman, awhero, CheerandBrood323, jc4127, **and **SmileLikeYooMeanIt. 

**Thanks! I appreciate each and every one of your reviews! **

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back

Chapter 13 -

She traced her fingers along her lips. She could practically feel the kiss still lingering. And she could also still feel the way his hand went up to her cheek, and how it lightly caressed it. 

What had she done? 

_She knew it was wrong._

_It was the wrong thing to do, but it still felt so right on so many different levels. _

_But it was still wrong. And that was the most important thing. _

_Pulling away from the kiss, she shook her head. "I...I'm sorry." She mumbled_

"_Brooke..."_

"_No. Um, I... I need to go." She quickly grabbed her purse off the chair, slid it up onto her shoulder, and ran out of the doctors office. _

_Lucas sighed in frustration. Great. If things weren't bad enough, they probably just got a whole lot worse. He'd need to get Emma, and then go find Brooke. _

She wiggled her toes in the sand. She hadn't gone here in quite sometime, with Emma being a handful, and right now this was just what she needed. Peace and quiet. 

It was still raining a little, and with the wind in full action, the tidal waves were coming in, full force. But she didn't care. 

There was just something about the beach, and when she came here, she finally felt like she could actually come up for a breath of fresh air. And she really needed that breath right about now. 

With today's events, things were only going to get a lot harder. And she couldn't help but think that she was partially to blame for that.

She was the one that had gone in and leaned in for the kiss, and it's not like the exact second she realized exactly what was happening, she pushed away. Because it wasn't like that at all. Not only did she realize what was going on, but she realized she actually liked it, too. She liked being close to him, being in his arms. 

And that's what scared her. 

How she could so easily just give in like that after he had hurt her so much. She must've caved in a lot, and that's why she had been hurt a lot. 

But in that memory she had, he seemed like such an amazing guy. He had forgiven her. Why couldn't she just forgive him already? 

"I didn't know you still come down here." A voice interjected her thoughts, and she could have sworn her heart stopped beating for that small second. 

"I usually don't any more." She replied, staring off into the ocean. She could hear his footsteps come closer towards her. "But I needed to think."

"About what?" And that's when she knew he was standing right behind her. His voice was no longer distant, and she could hear his light breathing.

"Stuff." She shrugged. 

"Brooke..." He started, before positioning himself next to her in the sand. "About before..."

"It was a mistake." 

"Okay...I wasn't going to say that but—." 

"—Where's Emma?" She cut him off, mid-sentence. She didn't want to talk about earlier. About the kiss. It had been a mistake. 

"I dropped her off at Nathan and Haley's, Brooke,—."

"God, are we that pathetic?" She asked incredulously, shaking her head. 

"What?" 

"We're horrible parents." She mumbled. 

"You're a great mother, Brooke."

"Really? Is that why every single freakin' day I end up leaving her with Haley? Emma doesn't deserve this...We can't keep passing her around like that."

"We're just dealing with something."

"Yeah, but for how long, Luke?"

"Not forever." Was his response, because he really didn't know the answer to the question. Things had been going downhill constantly for the past two months, and he really didn't know when it would stop, or if it would ever. 

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Well how am I supposed to know the answer!" His voice rose, and Brooke looked startled for a second. He got up from the ground and paced around, running his hands through his ever so short hair. "Because I am trying, Brooke. I have been working my ass off to get you to even talk to me! I understand that what I did was horrible, I know. And I know that you don't deserve it and I have told you numerous times that if I could take it back, I would. I would take everything back. I'd make sure you were okay again, and if I could do that, we'd be happy with our lives and happy with Emma and...Look, I don't know what else you want me to say, Brooke. I have been trying so hard...it's you who's just being stubborn!" He finished off angrily, kicking a heap of sand into the air. 

"I'm being stubborn?...I'm being stubborn! I cannot remember practically a damn thing, I've been raising an infant on my own—."

"Well whose fault is that?" And suddenly, the air around them got a lot colder, and the rain started to come down heavier. 

After that, the two just remained in silence. Lucas was still standing, Brooke was still sitting, and it was still raining. 

"You're right." She finally said. Her voice was low, and from the rain, she was almost impossible to hear. But he heard her. 

"Brooke, I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that, you have every right to be mad, and I—."

"—No. You're right. I have been too stubborn and too selfish and have been pushing you away just so I don't get hurt again. And I haven't been thinking about Emma. I love that little girl so much, and it's just killing me how all this could affect her one day. You don't know how scared I was when I brought her to the doctor and was told she could have some heart condition."

"I know. And I know I shouldn't have kept that from you, either." 

"We need to do something to fix this, because waiting isn't going to make it any better."

He nodded and walked closer to her. Either it was just the rain, or she was crying, too. 

But from her voice, he could tell she was crying. 

"I'm sorry I hurt you." He had said that about a million and one times, and he didn't think this time would be any different.

"I...I forgive you." But it was different this time. 

"Lets start over fresh. We'll try and work our way up." He suggested.

She nodded and began to speak. "You should start moving your stuff back in tomorrow." 

He gave her a small smile for this, before offering his hand out to her. "We should probably go pick up Em." 

"Yeah." She agreed, taking his hand and pulling herself up. 

And then the two of them walked back to the car together. 

Maybe things would be turning around. 

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - This was pretty short, but I felt this was a good place to end it. And it's a turning point for brucas in the story, 'cause now they're gonna face their problems head on, or at least try to. **

**How'd everyone enjoy the 100****th**** episode on Tuesday? **

**I thought it was pretty good, except there were wayyyy to many commercials. Like every five minutes it went to a commercial break. What was that about! **

**Anyways, leave a review, PLEASE!**

**Thanks!**

–**Melissa**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N - Hey everyone!**

**Thanks: **myla84, CheerandBrood323, reina123, onetreehillgirl066, othfan326, MissUnderstood92, BrOoKe DaViS23, journey4eva, chebelle, Mosie1213, TutorWife, awhero, brucas333, Simoman, onetreefan,** and **iluvmedou.

**There was a slight descend in reviews, but I sorta expected it 'cause last chapter wasn't all that great. Hopefully this chapter will be better, and I feel it is. **

**Also, OMG, I can't believe I'm gonna reach 300! 300!! That's amazing!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!**

**Enjoy and review! (So I can reach 300!! YAY!)**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back

Chapter 14-

Brooke sighed, looking around the living room that was filled with cardboard boxes. Lucas had moved most of his stuff back home from the beach house, and hadn't had time yet to unpack.

She would be lying if she said this all didn't feel weird and awkward. It had been quiet some time since Lucas had been home last, and this all just seemed like a whole new concept.

And even before his cheating came out, he wasn't home that often, either, so it was really new.

But both of them were ready to start over. Try again. And try harder than before and make it all work. Lucas promised to stay home more, and not focus so much on his work, and Brooke promised to try and open up more to Lucas.

When they went to pick up Emma at Nathan and Haley's, Haley questioned Brooke, asking her if she was sure about it all. If she was sure about her sudden change in heart. Days ago she had been furious with Lucas, and now she had forgiven him.

Brooke wasn't sure. Not one bit.

But if she wanted things to be normal again, or as normal as they possibly could be, then this was what had to be done.

She heard Lucas talking to Emma upstairs, and deciding to eavesdrop, Brooke tiptoed up the staircase, until she was finally leaning in the doorway of the nursery.

"Hey, baby." Lucas picked Emma up from the crib. Staring at his baby, he was in awe. He found it quiet pathetic how she was already a couple months old, and he hadn't really been able to spend much time with her since her birth. All he could remember were her first few days in the hospital, hooked up to monitors, tubes everywhere. And now he really got to see her. And she was beautiful. She had her mother's hazel eyes, her mother's dark hair, and her mother's dimples. All as he had hoped.

"Wow. You look just like your mommy. Just as beautiful, and just as perfect." He gave the baby a kiss on the nose, causing her to giggle, her dimples penetrating through her chubby cheeks. "I'm sorry I've been such a horrible daddy. But things have been hard, ya know? Your mommy just needed her space."

Brooke swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat and closed her eyes, not wanting to cry and make her presence known. She listened as Lucas continued.

"And I hurt her pretty bad, Em. But I love her, and I wish she knew that. Your mommy is the most amazing woman in the world, and you're gonna grow up one day and be just like her. I'll never hurt you or your mommy. I love you two too much to do that."

"_I can't wait for this one to come out." Lucas rubbed Brooke's pregnant stomach as the two sat on the couch, side by side. They had both volunteered to watch Nathan and Haley's kids, and right now, all three of them, Jamie, Avery, and Ryan, were fast asleep on both sides of the two adults. Nathan and Haley's excuse for a night out was that it would be "good practice" for Brooke and Lucas, as their baby was due in a few months. Brooke and Lucas didn't refuse; they both loved their niece and nephews. _

"_Yeah, that way I won't be fat any more." Brooke said, smiling, leaning her head on Lucas's shoulder. _

"_You're not fat, Brooke." Lucas shook his head at his wife. Lately she was always saying she was fat. Lucas found it kind of cute._

"_What do you want?" Brooke whispered._

"_What?"_

"_Girl or boy? 'Cause I want a boy. A boy that'll look just like you. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Sensitive and caring. Have an interest for basketball and literature." _

"_Well, I want a girl. A perfect, beautiful baby girl."_

"_Why?" Brooke asked, interested, turning her head to face her husband._

"_Because she'll be just like you. She'll look like you and act like you. Have your eyes, your dimples, your hair. Everything about you. She'll be perfect." He smiled at her, playing with the ends of her hair. _

_She smiled back, and by now, her eyes had gotten glossy and watery. "I love you." _

Lucas closed his eyes, trying to erase that memory out of his mind. It was too happy. And they hadn't been that happy in a while. He didn't want to remember those kinds of times. If he hadn't screwed up a few weeks ago, he and Brooke could have been working to try and be happy again. But he messed up. They had been brought back to square one.

Those times, before the accident, before all this, before Emma, he and Brooke were happy. But he was keeping a lie from her all that time.

He didn't like to think about it.

He kissed Emma on the cheek before placing her down in the crib, bringing the soft blanket up to her chin.

Turning around, he was shocked to find Brooke standing there.

"...Hey...I...um..." Lucas stumbled upon his words.

Did she hear all of that?

"I'm sorry." Brooke smiled sheepishly, shrugging her shoulders. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, or anything."

"Uh, it's fine." He walked away from the crib and closer to Brooke and noticed Brooke tensed up. "You okay?"

"Mhm. Yeah, fine." She managed to say, however it wasn't very believable. "Actually, I was hoping we could talk."

"Sure. Let's go downstairs."

She nodded in agreement, following his steps down the stairs.

"Look. I'm sorry that I'm all flip-floppy with this emotions and feelings and stuff, but...Is this gonna work?" It was obvious she was referring to them getting through it all.

"Brooke." He took her hand in his and lightly rubbed his thumb over it. "I promise you I'm never gonna let you down again. I was a selfish ass, and I hurt you. I get that, okay? But I never want to hurt you again. You may never get your memory back, but I'm still always going to love you, Brooke Scott."

She stared at him; her eyes looked sad and broken. Those words he just said hit her, and tugged at her heart strings. "Wow." She exhaled deeply, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "I...I don't know what to say..."

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. But I just wanted you to know. I'm gonna help you get through this, no matter what...and I know it's been a while and practically no progress has been made, but—."

"—I remembered something yesterday." She admitted. She hadn't told him that because after the kiss, their conversation had gone in a different direction.

"Brooke, that's great." He paused, unaware of why she was still crying. "Isn't it?"

"Yeah...I guess. It's just, they come so randomly...And they're just these random moments that only last, like, a minute."

"It's still something, Brooke. Every little thing counts, because eventually, all those little things are gonna turn into something big. And you're gonna remember everything. Brooke, you're a strong person, I know you can to do this." He wiped her tears away and kissed her forehead. "Wait one second, I wanna show you something."

She looked at him curiously as he got up from his seat and walked down the hall into his study. Instead of getting up and following, Brooke just watched the door, waiting for his figure to reappear.

Seconds later, he reemerged from the room and came back with a book in his hand. The book was unfamiliar to Brooke, hence the quizzical look she gave him.

He flipped through the pages until he came to some-what the middle of the book, and pointed his finger at a paragraph. "Read it." Was all he said, as Brooke took the book out of his hands and positioned it in her own.

"She was fiercely independent. Brooke Davis. Brilliant, and beautiful, and brave. In two years she had grown more than anyone I had ever known. Brooke Davis is going to change the world someday. And I'm not sure she even knows it." She recited the words from the book. "Lucas..." She mumbled almost speechless. "What is this?"

"It's something from the first book I ever wrote during senior year. Brooke, you're brilliant, beautiful, and brave...and that's how I know you're strong enough to make it through all of this. I know it's hard now. And I can guarantee at times it will feel harder, but I know you're the kind of person that will never, ever give up."

"Thank you." She nodded as a few tears slid down her cheek. She advanced towards his body and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you."

He had definitely turned around a complete 180 in the past few days. And this time, she knew he really was here to help.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - I hope it was good!! **

**Review please!! I'll be your bestest friend ;p **

–**Melissa **


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N - Hey!! **

**Thanks to those who reviewed: **CheerandBrood323, othfan326, Brook-Lucas-Fan-23, TutorWife, reina123, journey4eva, IamCaroline, onetreefan, BrOoKe DaViS23, Simoman, awhero, chebelle, myla84, Mosie1213, xLinhx, brucas333, SmileLikeYooMeanIt, iluvmedou, **and **brucas224. **Thanks!! All your reviews mean so much! I'm so happy that I now have over 300 reviews! That's incredible. **

**Enjoy and review** **please!**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back

Chapter 15 -

"So, you and Lucas seem to be doing pretty well."

It was a Sunday afternoon, and Brooke and Haley sat in Nathan and Haley's kitchen, conversing over what had happened in past days.

"Yeah." Brooke replied, smiling ever so slightly, looking out the window. She watched as Lucas and Nathan played a one-on-one game in the backyard. "Yeah we are. I just really want to make things better...ya know?"

"I do. And I think it's great. It's really, really good to see you so much more positive now. I'm proud of you, Brooke."

Just as Brooke was about to respond, a loud cry could be heard from the other room.

Immediately, both Brooke and Haley got up from their seats.

"I didn't do anything, I swear." Avery said as she sat with her baby cousin and one-year-old brother. Emma whimpered louder, and Brooke took her out of her niece's arms.

"We know you didn't, babe. Sometimes babies just need attention so they cry. You remember Ry when he was smaller." Haley kissed her daughter's cheek and followed Brooke's actions, picking up her son.

Brooke paced around the room, trying to calm down Emma.

"I'm gonna go so if she needs a changing." She excused herself, heading off to the bathroom.

"Where's Jamie?"

"Outside watching daddy and Uncle Luke play." Avery replied, turning on the tv and sitting back, leaning into the cushions.

"You didn't want to go watch them?"

"No. Basketball's boring."

"Oh, I see. You'd much rather spend time with your baby cousin and brother, right?"

"Exactly." She smiled at her mother. "Hey, mommy?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad Aunt Brooke's back."

Haley smiled, readjusting Ryan in her arms.

She knew it had been hard for her children when Brooke had been in that extremely dark spot because they had been so close with their aunt. It had been hard for her, too. After all, she and Brooke were best friends.

"Me, too, Ave. Me, too."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Hey." Lucas walked into Emma's room. He unexpectedly found Brooke rocking back and forth in the rocking chair with a sketch pad in one hand, sketch pencil in the other. "Well, I wasn't expecting this." He walked over to the crib, picked Emma up, and then walked over to where Brooke was.

"I figured I'd give it a try...but it's not very good." She sighed while scribbling something out, then turning to the next page.

"Don't stress it. You haven't done this in a while. It takes time; you'll catch on."

"I know." She scribbled again, and closed the book, frustrated.

"You okay?"

She inhaled deeply, closed her eyes, and when she finally reopened them, she nodded. "Yeah. Just a little stressed, that's all."

"Well I don't want you to worry. Don't worry about your work or anything now. Just focus on getting better."

She nodded and offered a small smile. She stifled a laugh, soon realizing Emma had fallen asleep while leaning on Lucas' shoulder. "Looks like someone fell asleep on you."

Lucas smiled smoothing out Emma's dark hair. "I guess she thinks her daddy's not that interesting." He slowly moved her in his arms and walked over to the crib, placing her in it and covering her with her blanket.

"Well that's something she and I have in common." Brooke joked, and he grinned at her, happy because she was starting to make jokes again, and happy because she seemed much happier. She was slowly but surely becoming the _cheery _he had always loved.

"I was thinking...I want to take the three of us somewhere tonight. Nothing special...I just want to show you something."

"Okay...sure."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

The sun was already down by the time he parked the car.

"We're here."

She studied the surroundings. "It looks like some abandoned basketball court." She stated curiously.

It was the rivercourt, but of course she didn't know that. She had seen it sometimes in the past few weeks when she had been looking at pictures, it was always in the background. But other than that, she had absolutely no idea.

"This, is the rivercourt." He pulled the keys out of the ignition, opened the car door, and placed one foot out. "Come on out. I'll get Emma."

Brooke slowly followed Lucas onto the court and became aware of the faded out spray paint on the concrete. "I'm guessing I'm supposed to remember something but—."

"Brooke, it's okay if you don't."

"Well can you tell me?"

"Sure." He took her hand as he held on tightly to Emma and led her to the bleachers. "Well, like I said, this is the rivercourt. I used to come here all the time during highschool, and when I met you, you used to come, too. We all did."

"Then why can't I remember?" Her voice cracked, and Lucas knew she was getting upset again. She and Lucas had been doing extremely well in the past week or so, however there was always that question in the back of her mind. Questions like, why she wasn't remembering anything, or if she was ever going to get her memory back. And as positive as she tried to be, she knew she would always be thinking about it, and there would always be a moment here and there where she'd have to ask about it.

"Brooke...Please don't get upset. That's not why I brought you here...I just...please."

"I'm sorry." She wiped away her tears before they fell from her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. But...do you remember that conversation we had last week? With my book."

"Yes."

"All those words I wrote in there, and what I said, they were all true. I know that you're strong. And I think, though you may not admit it, somewhere deep down, you know that, too. Okay? You're just not ready to remember. But when you are, you will. So as long as you keep trying, you'll be great. You've been doing great, Brooke. Don't give up now."

That along with what he had said the week prior was one of the sweetest things he'd said to her.

And this was the Lucas Scott she knew she fell in love with.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Later that night, Emma was already sleeping, and Lucas walked into Brooke's room, surprised to find her awake and sitting up in bed.

The light beside the bed was on and she had her knees propped up, her sketchbook resting on top of them.

"Giving it another try?" He asked, referring to the sketches.

"I had a little burst of inspiration." She shrugged and motioned him to come join her on the bed.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Of course."

He sat at the edge of the bed with her and peered over to get a better view of the sketch.

"Hey." She said, abruptly bringing the book to her chest, covering the drawing. "I don't want you looking; it's terrible."

"It's actually pretty good. It's not terrible at all."

Her face softened. "Really?"

"Absolutely. With a little more practice, you'll be back to sketching like you used to."

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it...So, um, I guess I'll see you in the morning..."

They hadn't slept in the same room in months, and he expected tonight to be no different.

"Actually, I was wondering..." She paused, making sure this what she really wanted to say. "You can sleep in here tonight...I mean, only if you want, too..."

"Of course I will."

That night once the lights went out, Lucas wrapped an arm around her waist. And Brooke actually didn't mind. In fact, she liked it. It made her feel safe.

It was also the first night the two went to sleep right away. There was none of that waiting two hours to fall asleep business...that night, they both fell asleep in each others arms; exactly where they belonged.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - I know it seems like nothing's happening, but I just don't want to rush brucas too much. So they're slowing trying to get back to normal despite the obvious obstacles, such as Brooke's memory loss. **

**And I'm sorry if the writing isn't all that great, I've just been extremely stressed lately with school work. School is so freakin' annoying! Lol. **

**I so cannot wait for spring break (especially since last weekend I was able to get tickets to the charity basketball game!! Yay!) I cannot believe how quickly they sold out, and I feel I got them only a few seconds before they sold it (it was taking forever to load! I was getting scared I wasn't gonna get them! Thankfully I was able to!). Did anyone else get tickets or at least try to?**

**Leave a review, please! **

**Thanks!!**

–**Melissa**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N - I know it's been like two weeks since I updated; sorry for that.**

**But now I'm on spring break, so we'll see what happens. **

**Thanks: **onetreefan, BrOoKe DaViS23, moonman, Mosie1213, awhero, othfan326, 4GetYesterday, Brook-Lucas-Fan-23, reina123, superstargirl7, Simoman, myla84, bella, evergloweyes, brucas333, brillant brunette, chebelle, iluvmedou, **and **Brucasxo4ever.

**Thanks so much you guys!**

**PLEASE ENJOY AND REVIEW!**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back

Chapter 16 -

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" He whispered as he pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear, staring into her eyes.

They were standing in the middle of the airport bidding each other a goodbye.

Lucas was going to promote his latest book on the west coast, and Brooke and Emma were staying home.

"I'll be fine. I'm the one that told you to go."

"_Em's asleep?" _

"_Out like a light." _

_Lucas nodded and moved over on the chair he was sitting on for her to sit with him. "Brooke, I was thinking, maybe we could spend some time out together alone tomorrow night."_

"_Are you implying a date?" A small smile played on her lips._

"_I guess I am." _

"_Well, I'll accept that offer...only if you promise not to take me to that disgusting bar again." She joked._

"_Deal." _

He was surprised when she had agreed to letting him go the other week. Brooke was even surprised by her answer. But she guessed the only way to explain it was that she wanted to see if they and their relationship had grown in the time they had fixed everything and started to be a family; she wanted to see if they could now handle things better. And this was the way to find out.

"_Hey, Luke?" She asked before taking a bite out of her food._

"_Mhm?"_

"_Well, you never did tell me why you took me to that bar a while ago..." _

_His cheeks turned a shade of red and he shrugged. "It was nothing." He shook it off. _

"_Come on. Tell me, Luke...Please." _

"_Fine." He sighed. Well that was one thing that hadn't changed. Brooke always knew how to get her way somehow. "That was where we had our first date..." _

_He waited for her to see how cheesy that was, or something along those lines. _

_Instead she smiled at him, and took his hand from across the table. "That was really sweet, Lucas. Why didn't you tell that?"_

"_I felt there was no point. If you didn't remember it, that was it." He admitted and instantly felt guilty and wished he hadn't said it when her face fell, and her eyes were fixated on the floor. "But don't blame yourself, it was just a bar, not exactly something that would trigger a memory or anything." _

_She nodded and looke_d _back up and was met with his eyes. "We've been doing better, right?" _

"_One hundred percent better." He reassured her and gave her a hand a squeeze. _

_Interrupting the two's conversation, Lucas's cell phone rang._

"_That might be Hales or Nate." His face read pure confusion when he took out his phone and read the i.d. _

"_I'm guessing it's not them..."_

"_It's my secretary from work." He hadn't been in to work in a while, or if he did go, it was once a week and only for a few hours. He was able to finish up that book he was nearing the end to, and was also able to find a new editor as well. "I don't need to answer it." _

"_No, you should." She insisted. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Answer it. I'll be right back." She got up and walked off, leaving Lucas with the phone in his hands._

"_Hello?...I'm good, and you?...California? Oh, I don't know...I don't think so...Okay I'll talk to my wife about, but don't count on it...Okay, have a good night." _

_Closing the phone, he stared off into space. They wanted him to go to California to promote his new book. _

_The idea sounded awesome...but there was Brooke. And Emma, too. And there was no way he was leaving them alone again. The first time he had left them alone, he didn't have a choice. This time he did, and he had already made his decision. _

"_So." She came back and took her seat. "What was that about?"_

_He played with the phone in his hands, determining whether he should tell her or not. "They want me to go to the west coast to promote my book...I told them I didn't see it happening and I—."_

"_You should go." She abruptly cut him off._

"_What?"_

"_You should go, Lucas._ _It's an amazing opportunity and I'd hate to see you waste it." _

"_I...I don't know, Brooke. I don't want to leave you and Emma alone. I don't even know how long it'd be for."_

"_So why don't you call them back and find out?"_

_He eyed her suspiciously. "Are you sure about this?"_

"_Yeah, I am. Trust me." _

"Okay, so you have everyone's number...Peyton, Haley and Nathan..."

"Yes, yes. Do we really have to go over this another ten times?"

"I'm sorry." He smiled. "I just want you to be okay."

"And I will be...we will be." She readjusted Emma in her arms as the tiny girl began to cry. "I promise."

He nodded and looked down at his watch, it was almost time to go. "I better start heading over to the gate." He had been regretting saying those words the past few days because they led to his departure. "So I'll call you when I land. And, Emma, behave yourself for mommy, okay?" He kissed Emma's head, and then Brooke's cheek. "Talk to you soon."

He walked off and looked back once and waved, she waved back.

And then it was just she and Emma again.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"God, she's getting so big." Haley said while she held her niece.

"I know." Brooke gushed over her daughter.

"She's beautiful, Brooke."

"Thank you, and you've got yourself some good looking kids, too."

"Shut up, Jamie!" As if on cue, the screaming fest began.

"Speak of the devils." Haley replied sarcastically. "Kids, keep it down. Your brother's trying to take a nap!" She then turned back to Brooke "You better enjoy the time you have now where she only cries when she needs to be fed or changed. Because once they know how to talk, they won't shut up." Haley laughed, rocking Emma back and forth.

Brooke smiled and for the next few minutes, Brooke and Haley fell into a comfortable silence. There had been something on Brooke's mind and she wasn't sure if she wanted to open up about it just yet.

"Haley?"

"Yeah?"

"I know this probably sounds totally weird...but...I think...I think I'm falling for my husband."

"You mean like, falling in love with Lucas...or—."

"I don't know. I mean, after I forgive him, we've been doing so well with everything. And now I see the real Lucas Scott..."

"Brooke that's great. I'm happy for you. But, did you tell him?"

"No." She sighed and shook her head. "Because I'm not sure about it. And I don't want to say the wrong thing...that's part of the reason I said he could go on this trip, so I could figure out what we really are, and what we can be."

"Well, you know I'm here if you ever need any advice.

"Yeah, I know. And thanks. Anyway, I should get going."

"All right, call me to let me know he landed okay."

"Will do, and tell Nathan I said hi."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

She had spoken to Lucas an hour ago, and he had arrived safe and sound. He told her the weather there was gorgeous, and that he missed her and Emma terribly.

She was sitting with Emma in the nursery, rocking back and forth on the rocking chair when the doorbell downstairs rang.

"I'll be right back, Emma." She placed her daughter into her crib, quickly going down the stairs.

She opened the door to reveal a woman she did not recognize.

"Is Lucas here?" The woman flat out asked.

"Um, no." Brooke did not like the attitude of this woman, what so ever. "May I ask who you are?"

"Like you don't know already, Brooke."

And suddenly Brooke realized it.

"Lindsey."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - Uh Oh! What's Lindsey doing? Possibly stirring up some trouble for Brucas? Guess you'll just have to wait and see!**

**Omg, I don't know who reads spoilers and who doesn't...but I read an amazing spoiler for the season 5 finale!! I don't want to say anything 'cause I don't want to spoil it for those that don't read them. So if ya wanna talk about it, message me! **

**PLEASE REVIEW! **

–**Melissa **

(Also, I put up a new story! "Searching For What We Lost". Check it out!)


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N - Heyy!! **

**The reviews for last chapter were amazing; I hadn't received that many in awhile, so I was very, very, **_**very**_**, happy! :)**

**A BIG thanks to: **othfan326, NYGIRL09, MissUnderstood92, brucasroxx, onetreefan, prinsezchild, evergloweyes, awhero, HermoineGirl03, Brooke6404, CheerandBrood323, BrOoKe DaViS23, Mosie1213, chebelle, brucas333, iluvmedou, iugome, Kajal, All Stories Have Happy Endings, SmileLikeYooMeanIt, catcat51092, p0line, Brook-Lucas-Fan-23, reina123, myla84, brucas224, **and **moonman.

**Thank you, thank you, thank you!! :) :) :) :) You guys are amazing!! **

**R&R chapter 17! ;)**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back

Chapter 17 -

_Her bottom lip quivered and she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. Lucas would be coming home from work soon, and she did not want him to see her like this. So unhappy, so pissed off, and so vulnerable. _

_She wasn't as oblivious to Lucas's work conditions as he assumed. She knew something was going on, and she was just waiting for him to say it already, as horrible as that sounded. _

_His keys jingled in the front door, and she straightened her posture, recklessly wiping away a few stray tears. _

_Before Lucas was given the chance to see his wife, Brooke quietly slipped out of the room, tiptoeing her way up the staircase, into their bedroom. _

"_Brooke?" She was giving him the silent treatment, and she didn't care if it was juvenile or not. "Brooke, I know you're home." _

_She closed the door and lied down on her side of the bed, wrapping the covers over her pregnant body. _

_She hated being pregnant. It made her look fat, and she figured maybe that was why Lucas had something going on at work...he wasn't attracted to her anymore. _

"_Brooke." His voice seemed a lot closer than it had a few minutes ago, and when she looked over to the door, it opened and he appeared. "What's wrong now?" He sighed. "What did I do this time?" _

_He was used to this. Brooke and her mood swings, that is. She was always blaming everything on him._

"_Why don't you tell me?" Her voice was bitter and it still didn't seem to affect Lucas at all. _

_His face remained blank. "Brooke—." _

"_Just tell me there's nothing going on."_

"_I—."_

"_Just say it." _

_He sighed in defeat. "There is nothing going on. Okay? You have nothing to worry about." He kissed the side of her face and caressed her hair. _

_She didn't believe him. Not one bit. After all, she practically forced him to say those words. _

_And if she hadn't, he wouldn't be saying them at all._

_But for some reason, she wanted to believe him. _

_It made her feel the slightest bit better. _

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Intimidated.

That was how she felt.

Frightened and inferior.

"Lindsey." Her jaw clenched and she felt her hands begin to roll into tight fists.

So, this was the oh-so famous Lindsey.

"Well, well. You do remember." Lindsey let herself in and walked right past Brooke, taking a seat on the couch.

"What do you want? Lucas isn't here." She tried keeping her cool, keeping her voice steady, and keeping her eyes clear of tears. It definitely was a challenge.

It had been a while since the confrontation about Lucas's cheating ways went down, and Brooke had thought she had gotten passed that all. That it was just a thing in the past, and there was no point of ever bringing it back into existence again.

But seeing the woman who had almost ruined her relationship with Lucas, standing there in flesh, made all those horrible memories resurface.

"Well, where is he?"

"That is none of your business...What's it to you anyway?"

"It's just I haven't spoken to him in a while."

Brooke scoffed. Was this woman for real? Was she seriously coming over here for Lucas, all while knowing Brooke knew everything that had happened?

"Yeah, and for good reason." Brooke replied with a roll of the eyes. "Do you know what you put us through? All the pain..."

"If I remember correctly, it wasn't like your husband was saying no." Brooke narrowed her eyes. "Why did you forgive him anyway?"

"That really is none of your business, but if you'd really like to hear, well...it was a mistake that happened one time, while he was drunk, and he's proven himself to be a loving husband and has made up for what he had did."

"Uh huh. Is that the stuff he tells you? It was a mistake, _one _time?" She stifled a laugh. "I'm guessing he doesn't tell you about all the messages he leaves on my voice mail...?"

Brooke's face became flushed and her mind began to wander.

Lindsey was wrong...she just had to be. Lucas had told her the truth about everything.

Right?

Emma's cries from upstairs broke through the silence in the house.

"Y–You need to leave." Brooke mumbled.

"Fine...Tell Lucas I say hi. Great talking to you, Brooke."

The door slammed closed and Brooke had to muster up enough strength to go upstairs and comfort Emma...except she was the one that needed to be comforted right now.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"I'll get it!" Avery shot up out of her chair as the sound of the phone ringing rang through the Scott residence.

"No, I'll get it." Jamie dropped the game system controller in his hands and ran in front of his younger sister out of spite. "Hello?"

"Daddy, Jamie's being mean!" Avery shouted to Nathan, who at the moment was in the other room watching old basketball game highlights.

"Shut up, Avery." Jamie pushed his sister out of the way. "Hey, Uncle Luke." He said, returning his attention back to the phone.

"Hey, Jamie. Is your mom or dad there?"

"Um, dad's here. Mom went shopping."

"Alright, put him on, please." Lucas sighed as he waited for the phone to be retrieved by Nathan.

"Luke?"

"Hey, man. Have you or Haley heard from Brooke today?"

"No...Haley tried to call her a few times and she didn't answer. She even went to the house, but nobody answered and she just figured Brooke went out or something."

"Great." He muttered into the phone, shaking his head.

"Is everything okay?"

"Uh, no. But I guess I'll just keep trying. Let me know if you hear anything."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Several phone calls later, Brooke decided she had heard enough ringing of phones.

She turned her cell phone off and kept the house phone off the hook that way any incoming calls would just get the busy tone.

Brooke knew that by doing all this, she was making everyone worry about her. Somebody had even swung by earlier and rang the bell.

But she he was too confused to talk to anyone - and that especially meant Lucas - .

Lindsey had come over the day before, and suddenly Brooke's almost normal life became insane once again.

She had finally felt like she, Lucas, and even Emma, too, were reaching some stable ground. But if all it took were for Lindsey to come in and stir up some trouble to ruin that stableness, well, then maybe they hadn't really grown since then after all.

Maybe Brooke had just put on some big act to make herself feel stronger, and make herself look not as vulnerable as she felt.

Maybe, just maybe.

She closed her eyes in hopes that she'd instantly fall asleep. Then maybe she'd wake up and this would all be a dream. Everything.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

She hadn't opened her eyes yet, but she was awake. And she could sense someone watching her, their eyes penetrating into hers.

One eye opened...then the other.

It was Lucas.

"Lucas?" She groggily asked. Why was he here and not in California?

"You scared everyone, Brooke." He picked up her cell phone, in a way asking why it had been turned off.

"What happened to California?"

"Nobody could get a hold of you...I was worried sick. I had to come home." He got up from the seat he was occupying and sat on the edge of the bed. "What's been going on?"

"Why don't you tell me?" She didn't mean for her words to come off so bitterly, but they did.

"Wha—."

"Did you hook up with Lindsey more than once?"

Straightforward.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - Yes, yes. I know, evil cliffhanger. **

**And I'm afraid I have more bad news. I don't think I'll be able to update this again 'til next week 'cause I'm leaving on Friday for Wilmington for the charity b-ball game. So unless I miraculously am able to post a chapter tomorrow, this is gonna be the last one until next week. If I don't get to update tomorrow, then I promise next week I'll update with a great chapter, plus stories about the game!!**

**On another note, how amazing was that spoiler I told you guys (or at least the people that wanted to hear it.)?! I can't wait to see it!**

**And also, for everyone that saw 5.14...OMG! That brucas scene was total love...and I fell in love with the purple monkey! Lol ;) ! What about everyone else? **

**Leave your thoughts, please!! **

–**Melissa**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N - Hello! Sorry it's been awhile!! **

**Thanks: **onetreefan, CheerandBrood323, Brook-Lucas-Fan-23, othfan326, reina123, Brucas329, brucas333, onetreehillgirl066, Mosie1213, TeamxxBrucasxx, chebelle, SmileLikeYooMeanIt, awhero, Brucas3Naley23, BrOoKe DaViS23, **and **myla84.

**There was a drop in reviews again :( That makes me sad. **

**Please leave a review, even if it is telling me my work is really bad. **

**Enjoy!**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back

Chapter 18 -

"What?" His voice was sharp and had a tone of shock in it, too.

She took a deep breath and focused her eyes on a point behind him. She didn't want to look at him. She couldn't. "Lindsey and you...More than once?" Her voice cracked half way through her mumbling. Truthfully, she didn't want to hear an answer.

She would be perfectly fine not knowing. Letting it be kept a secret would be fine.

But the truth would have to come out sometime.

"Brooke, no. God no. Wh—Who told you that?"

Her posture became a little less stiff after hearing his answer and now she was able to look at him in the eyes. He was staring back at her; and she knew he was telling her the truth.

"Lindsey." She admitted timidly. The name was foul to her tongue as it rolled off, and she wanted nothing more now than to have slapped that bitch when she had gotten the chance the day prior.

"Lindsey?" He said the name incredulously. "She came over here?"

Brooke nodded and touched his arm. "And I'm so sorry to have to ask you that, but she came over and she made me feel so threatened and she said you call her all the time and that—.

"Woah, slow down." He caressed her cheek and she sighed, closing her eyes. "She said all that? That I call her...and that me and her...you know..."

"Yes."

"I...I have to go somewhere. I'll be right back, okay?" He quickly said, giving her cheek a kiss.

He was already out the room by the time she was able to nod her head.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

He dug his hands further into his pockets moving further along the Strauss driveway.

He had only been there twice. Once when he had to drop off some notes for a book he had been writing. The other time was...well, he didn't really like to think about that. It was a mistake and he had been paying up for it each and every day.

Upon reaching the door, he gave the doorbell one push, and then his hand went back into his pocket.

It was only a matter of seconds when the woman appeared, swinging the door open.

"Lucas." She greeted him so warmly that it made him sick. "I wasn't expecting you."

"Yeah, um, we need to talk."

"Please, come in. I'm sure you remember your way around." She said suggestively as he entered.

"Okay, look, you can't do that and you need to stop. Stop saying those kinds of things, stop pretending like there's something going on between us -which there never was-, stop calling me, and stop talking to my wife."

Her face fell at his last words. "I figured Brooke would say something."

"Why'd you say all that crap?"

"Lucas..."

"No." He cut her off. He was pissed off. Beyond pissed, actually. "Lindsey, I didn't blame you for anything that had happened before. I let you go as my editor, but I was very kind about it and didn't make anything more out of it. We both made a mistake, and I couldn't have you there with me anymore. But for you to keep calling me and leaving messages and then to even go to my own home where my wife and daughter are...that's when it gets to be enough."

It was true. He hadn't gotten mad at her for the earlier incident; it was just as much his fault as it was hers. But now it was getting to be too much.

"Do you understand what I'm saying? My wife and I have finally gotten back to a some-what normal life, and I really don't need you coming in and stomping all over that."

She nodded and put her head down, embarrassed that he was lecturing her on all this.

"This is your warning, Lindsey. Your only warning. You need to stop calling me and don't ever, ever come over to my house and harass my wife again. Got it?"

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

He walked up to his house for once feeling confident. Things seemed like they had gotten a lot better, and would be problem-free for a while.

The first sounds he heard were Emma's cries and Brooke's comforting voice.

"Shh...Em, it's okay." He could already picture her upstairs rocking their baby girl in the plush rocking chair trying to soothe her.

He closed the door gently behind him, not wanting to produce any sound, before going further and walking up the staircase.

"Hey, Brooke." His voice caused her to look up from Emma, and Lucas could see tiredness in her eyes, more than he had seen earlier when he first came home. Emma had probably kept her up all last night, and with him not around, it was twice the work.

"Luke, can you please take her? She won't stop crying and I'm exhausted."

He nodded, taking the baby out of her hands, as she quickly exited the room.

He sensed some tension, but he quickly brushed it off, trying to calm down Emma.

He and Brooke would talk later about the whole Lindsey fiasco, he decided as he went downstairs into the kitchen to get Emma a bottle. Right now he had to be a good father.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

By the time Emma finally fell asleep, it was already well into the night; practically morning. He expected Brooke to be asleep and expected to have to hold off on their conversation until the next day, but was surprised to find as he entered their room, the lights were still on, and Brooke was up in bed watching t.v.

"Hey." He unbuttoned the top few buttons on his shirt and sat on the bed, turning the t.v. off with the remote. "Can we talk?"

"Okay, sure." She knew exactly what he wanted to talk about, but she didn't want to be the first to start the conversation.

"About earlier—."

"It's okay." She cut him off and shrugged. She didn't want to have to talk about what happened. About Lindsey.

"It's not, though. And I know you're not okay with it; I'm not okay with it, either."

"You went to talk to her, didn't you?"

"I did." He nodded and took her hand in his. "Because she needed to know that what she did was totally uncalled for—."

She shook her head and cut in before he could go any further. "No, it's my fault, Lucas. I overreacted."

"I don't think you did. Not one bit."

"I'm sorry I had to ask you that question earlier, it's just, she was there and was so intimidating...and to hear her say that after everything..." She trailed off.

"You don't have to explain."

"But I want to." She told him. "You and me have been through so much already and I felt like we were finally doing okay. I felt we got everything out that we needed to, and that's part of the reason I was so willing to let you go to California. I thought we would be just fine. And when Lindsey came, everything that I had believed so strongly in just disappeared, and I'm sorry that I can't trust you as much as I would like, and I'm sorry you had to leave early but—."

"Brooke, it's fine. Really. I needed to be here, so that's where I am. You and Emma come first." He moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her small body.

Everything would be okay after all, so it seemed.

And in that moment, she felt it would be the perfect time to tell him about her feelings for him.

She opened her mouth, ready to speak, but then after another thought closed it.

Tomorrow was always another day.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - So obviously there's a new conflict in the story now regarding Brooke's feelings for Lucas. Should she keep them to herself or should she tell him? Guess you'll just have to wait and see! **

**Anyways, I went to the game and it was awesome! It was so much fun! **

**I was a bit upset the night before 'cause I had found out that Chad and Sophia had been filming a scene for the finale that night, and I could've gone...but I didn't know about it! :( **

**Jackson (Jamie) was so freakin' adorable at the game!! He was doing the Soulja Boy dance! Awww! :)**

**And you weren't allowed to take pics w/ the cast...which was also a disappointment. But I got over it :) . **

**Hm, what else can I talk about? Oh, right! **

**Episode 5.15!! OMG OMG OMG OMG! Talk about Brucas love! How amazing were those brucas scenes?! Words can't even describe how I felt watching them! I was like crying!! Let's hope these good brucas scenes last!!**

**Leave a review!! :) **

**Thanks!**

–**Melissa**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N - Sorry for the wait. School's been pretty hectic and I've had a little writer's block. **

**Oh, and I wanna just say I am amazed at how this story now has 401 freakin' reviews!! OMG! That's amazing!!** **Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!**

**Thanks: **TeamxxBrucasxx, othfan326, awhero, prinsezchild, Mosie1213, onetreehillgirl066, evergloweyes, brucas333, reina123, Brucas3Naley23, Kajal, onetreefan, IamCaroline, BrOoKe DaViS23, erika x3, iluvmedou, chebelle, tanya2byour21, **and **brucas4ever1214.

**Thanks and please enjoy this chapter!!**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back

Chapter 19 -

Brooke woke up for the first time in a while not feeling upset. Not feeling vulnerable. Not feeling as if her heart were breaking. And not feeling as if the world were about to end.

She actually felt good; like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

Lindsey was finally out of the picture and so were many other obstacles she and Lucas had had to overcome in the previous months.

They were doing well. Exceptionally well.

Except for one thing.

Brooke was sure from the moment she returned home from the hospital that their relationship would never again be normal. It was almost impossible for it to be normal after everything that had happened. And despite moving on from it all, it was still impossible to forget all those things that happened. They were always going to still be there.

After everything came out, Lucas had decided he was going to turn around; become a better husband, and become a better father, too. And he did just that.

It was then Brooke realized Lucas wasn't as bad as a guy as he seemed to be in the beginning. And as surprising as it seemed, she was actually started to have feelings for him. She was starting to fall for him. And she just wasn't sure if she would be able to tell him or not.

It would be too weird, wouldn't it? Too awkward. It would make the situation even more confusing.

She sat up and got out of bed, walking out of the room, and making her way towards the staircase. As she descended down the stairs, the scent of breakfast foods filled her nostrils and she could hear Lucas talking to Emma.

"Now we just have to wait for mommy to wake up and then we can all have breakfast together. Would you like that? Huh? Would you?" She could hear Emma's little giggle and she presumed that Lucas had tickled her.

Brooke walked to the doorway of the kitchen and watched as Lucas and their daughter interacted. She found it odd that it had only been a few months ago that their family had been broken. It seemed then that there was no chance they could be fixed and put back together.

It had been a long and hard journey, but now they were finally what Brooke hoped they would turn out to be.

They were completely different people now.

They were now a happy family.

"I love you, baby girl." She watched as Lucas picked Emma up from her highchair and held her close to his body while he placed kisses on her hair.

It wasn't until Brooke cleared her throat that Lucas turned around and realized she had been standing there.

"Oh, hey. We were waiting for you to wake up." He said, walking over to her. With Emma tucked in one of his arms, he wrapped the other around Brooke's waist and kissed her cheek.

"Good morning."

"Morning." She replied back with a small smile.

"So." He started off, walking back to Emma's highchair to place her back in it. "I made us breakfast, however I must warn you, I haven't cooked in a while so I may not be the best cook." He pulled out a chair for her to sit in and then pushed it in.

"Oh, I'll be the judge of that." She smiled as he went to make her a plate of food.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

They had just put Emma to bed and were now sitting in the living room on the couch just talking and working on some things for work.

Lucas had a notepad in his hand and he was jotting down some new stories ideas he had come up with while Brooke was working on some sketches.

Lucas pulled the pad away from his face, letting his pen drop from his hand onto the coffee table. "So how are you doing, Brooke?"

Lucas realized Brooke had been really into the sketch she was doing because when she looked up at him she had to ask him to repeat what he had said.

"Oh. I'm good." She nodded and gave him a dimpled grin. He missed that.

Her gorgeous smile with her cute dimples. He missed seeing her so happy. And he was glad she was finally turning around after everything. She deserved it.

"That's great." She nodded at his words hesitantly. She didn't want him to know about her latest problem dealing with her feelings for him. "What's wrong?" He asked, noticing her hesitance.

"Uh...nothing." She didn't feel like going into it. Not now anyway.

"Okay." He didn't want to push her into it and make her feel uncomfortable. He'd except that answer. "You know I've been thinking. It's really great that you're so happy again. You're becoming yourself again."

"Yeah. It's definitely been a long road." She agreed, before she put her pad and pencil down beside his stuff. "Hey, I have a question."

"Okay..."

"Do you still think about the accident?"

Lucas's face fell upon hearing her words and she immediately felt guilty for asking.

"I mean, I—."

"—Yeah. Yeah, I do. Everyday." He answered.

"But why?" She was curious. "I mean, I know why...but...but, I'm okay now."

"Yeah, I guess. But...that day...all the mistakes I made that caused it...I have no choice but to carry it around with me. I just...I guess, hold myself responsible for it, that's all."

"Oh, no." She shook her head. "It wasn't your fault, Luke. I don't blame you, I—."

"—But I blame myself. And I know that I put you through hell these past months. And I've been trying to make up for it. Trying to make myself worthy for you again. Because I know if I hadn't been such a jerk I would still have my wife with me now."

"She is with you." Brooke's voice cracked as her eyes welled with tears. "She is, Lucas."

"I know I've said this before, Brooke, but...even if you can never fully get better...I'm always going to still love you. Always. I love you, Brooke. And I know that you can't say it back just yet, and you may never be ready again to say it..."

But she was ready. Or at least she felt she was. She was just scared. Because after the accident she just didn't know him. And when all those feelings resurfaced so abruptly, she got scared and didn't know how to deal with them and put them into words.

"_...It's just that you're the first really great guy that I've ever dated and that really scares me because...I never gave a rat's ass before...'kay...but I do now."_

"_That's good. Because, um, I give a rat's ass about you, too." _

His words were blocked out when her mind drifted off. She had been scared then, too. Whenever that was. But she was able to let him in.

"...But I'll always love you, Brooke." She tuned back in as he finished and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.

She opened her mouth getting ready to speak.

This was it. She was ready.

"I-I love you, too."

"W-What?" His voice stuttered. "I mean—."

"I love you, Lucas."

"Brooke..." He didn't know what to say.

She leaned in closer to him and captured his lips with hers. It was slow and tender, and it was what both were waiting for for a long time.

He loved her. And she loved him back.

Finally.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - Hoped you enjoyed that!**

**And I wanna just say there's not much more left to this story. There's probably only gonna be two more chapters. Otherwise this will just drag on, which I feel it's already been doing.**

**So if you have something that you want to see happen in the last couple of chapters, let me know and I'll see what I can do. **

**So please leave a review! Thanks!! **

–**Melissa**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N - So I know the last time that I updated I said there were 2 more chapters, but when I really got down to thinking about it, I realized this would be a good place to end it. So yes, this is the LAST chapter. **

**Thanks: **Brooke6404, othfan326, tanya2byour21, chebelle, evergloweyes, CheerandBrood323, Brook-Lucas-Fan-23, brucas224, Mosie1213, Brucas3Naley23, erika x3, BrOoKe DaViS23, reina123, IamCaroline, onetreefan, brucas333, TeamxxBrucasxx, iluvmedou, XxBrucas4everxX, Kimmers, **and **brucasroxx.

**And since this is the last chapter, I just wanna say thank you to everyone that has ever reviewed this story! Your reviews meant a lot!**

**Please enjoy and leave one final review!**

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Finding My Way Back

Chapter 20 -

He could remember it very clearly, though sometimes he'd like to forget it all.

He could remember the exact words the doctor had said to him; The exact emotions he had felt surge through his body while the doctor was talking.

He knew his life would never be the same after that.

In a nutshell, Brooke couldn't remember anything that had happened before the accident. She couldn't remember Lucas, or her pregnancy with Emma, or her friends...or even herself for that matter. And that thought truly scared Lucas.

Brooke, his wife, the love of his life, was just going to be a complete lost soul in the universe and that sounded terrifying.

Brooke used to be a woman full of life, she was always happy -or at least tried to always be even when things seemed at their worst-, and she always was the one he counted on for her to add the cheeriness to his broodiness.

The doctor had then gone on saying that she may or may not regain her memory. It all depended on who the person was. Whether they were mentally strong enough or not.

And the memories could either come sporadically or all at once.

It seemed Brooke's were coming sporadically. And he could always tell that whenever she got one, she'd get frustrated.

She wanted to know more...not just a small piece of her life.

She wanted the whole thing.

Lucas had believed that one day it would happen. His wife was an internally strong person, one of the strongest he'd known. She'd been through everything, and he hated to admit that he'd put her through some of that stuff. But he truly believed she'd be able to pull through eventually.

Time would heal all of her wounds.

In the meantime, the two had to work on fixing something else.

Their family...especially since they had a new addition.

They started off on the wrong foot, and from there on in, it had even gotten rockier, but they managed to survive. And that only further more proved to Lucas that their love could survive anything.

And it wasn't that Brooke had fully recovered and had her memory back, however slowly she somehow was able to manage to return to her old self. The happy Brooke that Lucas had so dearly missed.

That's when it happened. She had fallen in love again. All the heartbreak he'd inevitably caused for her during the first few rough months, it just didn't matter...none of it mattered anymore. Because in that moment she had to face her feelings and not keep them hidden. She loved him.

The kiss they shared then was much different than the one they had shared in the doctors office after finding out Emma was healthy...that one didn't really count.

This one, though, did count.

It meant everything.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Lucas, what is going on?" Haley immediately asked upon the opening of the door. "It's seven-thirty in the morning and I had to leave Jamie alone with Avery and Ryan...this better be important."

"Yeah, Luke. What is it?" Nathan, who stood beside Haley, asked as he draped an arm around her shoulders.

He could tell his wife was nervous ever since they had received the sudden phone call at seven o'clock in the morning.

"Trust me. It is important. Why don't you come inside?"

"Lucas, you're starting to get me really worried." Haley mumbled, though followed her best friend's order and entered the house.

"Is it Brooke or Emma?" Nathan curiously asked.

"It's Brooke." Lucas stated simply and watched the look of confusion and worry spread across Nathan and Haley's faces. Deciding to save them from the heart attacks they looked like they were about to have, Lucas spoke once more. "She's back."

"What?...What do you mean she's back?" Haley shook her head. She was not understanding any of this at all. She looked at her husband for any clarification, however he looked just as lost. "Lucas—." Haley started, but was cut off by a voice.

It was unfamiliar...not the voice itself, though. It was still that same raspy voice. But the name that rolled off her tongue and fell off her lips...that was what was so foreign.

"Hey, tutor girl."

Haley took awhile to respond. That name hadn't been used since highschool.

And then it clicked. The name and what Lucas said pieced together.

Brooke was _back_.

She was still confused as hell. When did this all happen? How?

But she figured the questions could come later.

She looked up from the floor and saw the real Brooke. Her face looked lively and happy and she was carrying Emma in her arms.

She'd never looked better.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Lucas smiled as he looked on at his wife who at the moment was talking to Peyton. They had a lot to catch up on.

"I...just..." Haley couldn't get her words together. All of this was so sudden. "How, Luke?"

"I don't even know. She woke me up in the morning and she told me she remembered. I asked her what she remembered, what she talking about. I mean, it was like six in the morning, I thought that maybe I was dreaming. And she just looked at me and smiled and said 'everything'."

"Is this even possible?" Haley was shocked. She had gotten used to the new Brooke and didn't see the old Brooke returning any time soon. To say the least, she was thrilled to have her best friend back.

"You know, months ago the doctor had told me that she could wake up one day and this could happen. But after all this time, I hate to say, I was on the verge of giving up. She was remembering tiny things, not major, and I just thought that would be as good as it would get...But this...I wasn't expecting it and it's just..." He paused, trying to think of a word to describe it all.

"Amazing?"

"Yeah..." He nodded, looking back over to Brooke. "Exactly."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

(A few months later)

"All right, we'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye." Haley waved as she walked out the front door, closing it behind she, Nathan, and their three kids.

Brooke let out an exhausted sigh as she plopped down on the couch.

"Tired?" Lucas, who was sitting next to her, asked as he held Emma's tiny hands tightly in his while she stood up on his thighs. She had recently learned to walk, and now any opportunity she got, she took it.

Brooke nodded and gave a small smile. "Exhausted."

"Well then we better get this one off to bed considering we've got a big day tomorrow."

"Yes we do. Isn't that right, Em?" She leaned over to her husband and daughter and tickled Emma, causing the young girl to erupt in giggles. "Someone's got their first birthday tomorrow." She stopped tickling her and then proceeded to take her out of Lucas's arms.

It amazed her and Lucas that it had been a whole year since everything had happened.

The accident. The memory loss.

That had all happened exactly one year ago from tomorrow.

"I love you, baby." Brooke kissed Emma's forehead before standing up to retreat up the staircase. Before doing so, she looked over to Lucas who was still sitting down on the couch. "Come with us?" She asked.

"Of course."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"God, I can't believe she's going to be one." Brooke shook her head, mesmerized by the thought. They had put Emma to bed and were now back downstairs in the living room just enjoying each other's company. "It's just...this year was so...I don't even know how to describe it."

"I know what you mean...it was a long year."

"A very long one...so much happened."

"Yeah." Lucas nodded. "You know, I remember that night at the hospital. I was sitting there for hours...nobody was telling me a thing. And then when the doctor finally came out to talk to me, I sorta wished he hadn't because I had never been more confused in my whole life."

"What do you mean?" He never told her any of this. He didn't really like to talk about that night, and neither did she.

"I thought it was the worst and best day of my life." She eyed him suspiciously so he went on. "Emma was born...I was a dad. But on the other hand, I could've lost you forever. Talk about mixed emotions, huh?"

"I know what you mean. I remember when I found out about Emma. I was angry that you hadn't told me before...but more than anything I guess I was scared. There I was not knowing anything and then you just drop that on me. I mean, the first couple of days, I thought she hated me...she would always cry and I just couldn't deal with it. But, god, after that...she was one of the reasons I was able to pull through."

"And what was another reason?"

"You." She smiled at him and took his hand in hers. "We went through a lot, but if anything, it made me stronger."

"You were always strong, Brooke." He wrapped in arm around her and pulled her closer, dropping a kiss onto her hair. "And that's why I always believed in you. And look, I was right...you really found your way back this year."

"Well, I couldn't have done it without you, Luke." She said and then let the silence embrace the two.

It had been a long and hard year with many ups and many downs. And whenever they looked back to that night one year ago, it always amazed them how far they had gotten; how they were able to make it through it all. It couldn't be explained.

They had been broken and dysfunctional and now were nowhere near that.

Now they were happy and were raising an amazing one-year-old daughter.

"I love you." She whispered and she leaned her head against his chest.

"I love you, too, pretty girl. I love you, too."

It wasn't only Brooke who had found her way back to her normal self over the year.

_They _had found their way back to each other.

The End

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

**A/N - Wow, it's over. I can't believe it! I loved writing this story and I loved the amazing feedback it had!! This was by far my most popular story! I mean, I'm looking at the number of people that have this on alert and favorites right now, and wow, it just blows me away. **

**Thank you, thank you, thank you!! **

**Please leave one final review!!**

**Thanks!! :) **

–**Melissa **


End file.
